what did I do to deserve this s***

my life has been so bad and I've tried to make a change and it's just gotten worse. im scared of more changes

lost

I've come to the conclusion the biggest mistake of my life was not killing myself in February 2016 and instead falling in love March 2016. Both of us would be better off.

there's so many moments where i should've f***ing killed myself bro i feel you

Is it dangerous to have other people being your reason to keep living?

Very

i want to say yes and being emotionally independent is goat but then again that's gotten me nowhere so i don't know

Being emotionally independent whilst being able to form healthy relationships is goat. I think I have like a codependent and PTSD thing going on right now. My last b**** was crazy. All that s*** is super wack better off alone.

I can't believe how this year has turned out. I'm not one to say the universe is against me or whatever cause we've all had a difficult year but f*** the fact that the year I finally started getting my s*** together after 9 years of anguish only for a global pandemic to hit is honestly so depressing. So many of my plans have just crumbled into nothing

at this point i am not living for myself i am solely living so the people around me dont feel sad
ive thought abt it so much i even planned to
idk what im doing or where im going i choke up every night thinking about it and cry i wish everything could become more clear

this is where i was and now I'm just done with life. planning to end s*** next year on my bday

i can't do anything right

A friend once told me "anxiety is not a thing" and I ain't look at her the same since.

so much anxiety

I dont like my life

I really couldn't achieve anything I wanted to do, not a single thing. Oh well