What happens if your new girl leaves too

This not healthy bro. U need to find a purpose within yourself where u don’t rely on someone else for your own happiness. I know it’s hard but you’re putting way too much pressure on her without even realizing it. You will have a healthier relationship and a happier life if you can become self reliant in terms of fulfillment

dropped outta uni for a while.. gonna be at home until mid march for when my french language course starts. feel better already by being at home.

Wish she never HMU

getting back to myself :)

I don't deserve this life...

Great choice dude! I did the same and clearing my mind has improved my life in so many ways.

How did you get that panic attack?

im so sad i cant even cry anymore

Hard night... but do not worry! This will be over in the morning! We are going to look back to tonight and say, why was i sad haha

i have accepted life and all of his fallacies
all of it’s imperfections and it’s unbalanced
all of it’s unfairness and turmoil i accept life over no life
over a false reality
over a fantasy
i accept life for what it is
good or bad
i am living and always in control of my own actions and consequences
utopias are not real
they are not reality and only a fantasy
life has its ups and downs and i have to accept i won’t always be okay but that’s okay because i can always be okay because feelings are temporary
in fact everything is temporary including life
i accept death but don’t want it anymore
i accept life and all of it’s fallacies and goodness whether towards me or others
i accept that i can’t control everything and sometimes things won’t all go my way but that’s okay
because that’s what makes life, life.
i want to live and get better and i will

I hate myself. But, maybe, maybe I could love myself. Maybe, my life can have a greater value. That's right!. I am no more or less than myself. I am me! I want to be myself! I want to continue existing in this world! My life is worth living here! Anywhere can be paradise as long as I have the will to live. After all, I am alive, so I will always have the chance to be happy. As long as the Sun, the Moon, and the Earth exist, everything will be all right.

• shinji & yui ikari 💗💗💗💗💗

She deserves better!

did the MMPI-2 personality test by myself (which I don't think is legal or ethical) and i've been trying to interpret this s*** for 2 days. apparently i'm mental illness with a human growing out of it. not sure if I should tell my psychiatrist about this and show him the results to help me interpret them or get better treatment.. he's very friendly with me but idk

personality tests are in no way a diagnosis. That s*** will only drive you crazy. Be honest to your doc about whatever is troubling you tho.

My psychosis is at an all time high rn.

At least I can understand that I'm being irrational instead of getting lost in it like I did in the past.

but I gave myself a deadline of one year to work things out, If I don't get better I'm done with this life s***.

i think it's the most reliable personality/mental illness test there is. it's what they use on mentally ill people in court for instance. you can't lie on it either because it weeds out liars and people who exaggerate etc, unless you're so cunning and careful that you can trick it (which is hard cause it's quite a sophisticated test with 500+ questions, you're bound to fail if you lie practically)

i wanna tell him because it might give my doctor insight to what it could be i actually suffer from but it was wrong of me doing this test in the first place because nobody besides medical personnel should have access to it

did you quit your haldol bro?

i don't know what the f*** this is about or why i'm feeling this way. all i know is that there's plenty of relatives that are mentally ill, me included. idk if I have repressed memories from trauma.

I haven't tried it so I dunno. What I do know is that everytime I try a personality test I get too self-conscious and give incorrect answers.

go ahead and tell him, a pros input on this type of stuff is always good

I went from 60 mg a day to quitting it cold turkey but only cause my doctor said so

doesn't sound too good since you suffer from psychosis symptoms without it. shouldn't it be replaced with something? on the other hand anti-psychotics are horrible meds, but I can imagine suffering from psychosis is horrible as well

I know fam I just want to fight my schizophrenia with minimum medication.

She also made me quit all benzos and reduced my olanzapine(anti-psychotic) daily dose in half.

I think it's only normal to have some negative side-effect after being a pill head for years.

I also got a vape pod to help me kick cigs

all this just feels too much rn

yeah. it's very reasonable to suffer from side effects from quitting neuroleptics on top of already suffering from the symptoms of the disorder itself. neuroleptics lowers your dopamine as f*** and especially for long term use I think it also causes brain shrinkage.

how was quitting benzos? i think imma ask my doctor to increase dosage to 6 mg x**** a day.

damn you quitting cigarettes too? myself I've started to smoke a pack of non filters every day instead of a half