Since there is a thread about D**** & Alcohol, and Mental Health / Depression. I thought what a thread dedicated to Recovery..

I guess I'll start with my experience... over the past 15 years I've experimented with d**** and alcohol.... and it finally manifested into me losing a career, going to rehab, not being able to shake my addiction, losing almost all of my friends, now im almost 28 and starting from the ground up all over again... but things are looking good and im 40 days sober.

If you have any questions on recovery, treatment, Narcotics Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, or my experiences in rehab, I'm open to answer anything...

Also, I can open up a bit more about the choices I made, or if you are in recovery yourself and want to share a bit feel free.

EDIT: I'll keep bumping this thread every few weeks even if there aren't many replies in hopes that maybe somebody who needs help may see this

Good s*** op. I’m 7 months sober. I mostly did d**** cuz I was bored and depressed

7 months thats awesome, did you go to treatment? or meetings? or did you just decided to do it all on your own?

U ever do psychedelics

Love it! I’m 3 weeks clean from weed. Realized I had to stop when I kept trying to quit and relapsing, convincing myself it wasn’t so bad, etc.

Things haven’t been perfect but I’m proud of myself for kicking it so far

i f***ed with mushrooms, but i was more of a stimulant guy then turned into a lets mix opiates, benzos and stims at once or it wasnt worth it....

like if I was going to get a opiate from percs to fentanyl, id want to make sure i had some coke and benzos to mix with it

No treatment tbh I was just tired of disappointing my parents and I saw how much they cared. After awhile you just wanna do what’s best for you and them. Also I started going to the gym 4x week and I been stress free ever since. I still have some urges from here and there but I just shrug it off

Damn breh I'm so happy to hear ur off that s*** congrats

I was thinking psychs kept me from other d**** because they made me so self aware, but that can also drive u a lil crazy. Anyways as long as u feel good and ur not hurting urself ur living ur best life an u should be proud

thats kinda the same with me I guess... I did the whole rehab thing, was in the psych ward for a bit, but i just didnt care...I'm not sure what changed but I just got so tired of living like that..

you dont know disappointment til you black out at a financial job, and wake up in a mental hospital with your mother there..

Bruhhhhhh what was u on

d**** are all good and fun until it’s not. Doing these chemicals is no joke, there are risks and dangers that come with use and abuse. It’s very important to do research on what you put into your body and make educated decisions regarding that. Addiction is very real and possible and it’s nothin to be ashamed of, I’m glad this thread is here for people To reach out to and talk about any habits they want to lose. Having support is crucial. And s*** happens, if u use you don’t have to throw ur recovery time away, you’ve still made progress in your goal. Also anyone addicted to benzodiazepines do not quit cold turkey, you must taper down your dose to avoid seizures. If you need help tapering go to the doctor and ask to be put on a taper plan. If you suddenly run out of benzos like emergency you need to go to the ER and tell them ur dosage and med so they can give you a comparable dose to avoid seizing.

I was having a really hard time at work... I had gotten a promotion and an opportunity to move to a bigger city, and my manager wouldnt let me go... she told them i wasnt ready even though they thought I was, then the next day she called me into her office to give me s*** for something that I didnt even do, like at all...

so on my lunch which is 30 minutes, i snorted coke, ate x****, chugged a bottle of whiskey and went back into my job, blacked out almost instantly and had the police called on me

yeah exactly... a few guys at treatment had seizures including my roommate in the middle of the night, thank god I was awake and was able to help.

And I was in here talking about “I quit weed” 😭😭 Lmfaoo

But hey good job getting sober, it’s also awesome you’re using those experiences to teach others

You was really going thru it Fr fr. I don’t mix xans with alcohol or coke it f***s up your heartbeat rythem. It’s best to do just alcohol and coke if ur gonna do them. I’m glad you’re good tho

the scariest parts werent f***ing up my system it was that i would black out but still be somewhat coherent, and out of nowhere i
would get violent...

i smoked crack and smoked fentanyl right after the hit., i wasnt to worried about my heartbeat lol...

Thank god I'm alive, but yeah I really hope this gives people a place to talk about there recovery.

Also, I can say with 100% conviction that alcohol is the gateway d*** not marijuana like some people say. I smoked weed from 13-18 not once did I ever want to do anything else, as soon as I started drinking at 18, here came the cocaine, mdma, percocet and oxycontin (the good kind before they made them so you couldnt snort them)

its not a contest about who did what d**** or who did more... its a recovery thread, we are all in the same boat... similar yet different experiences have brought us to the same path to walk down, and thats what people in recovery do they help each other and listen, we arent bragging about what we did, we talk about it help others feel comfortable in opening up..

Your experiences and what lead you to quit weed in one way or another is very similar to me, be proud you arent smoking weed anymore!!!!!

definitely agree about alcohol being a gateway. bein arounds bars n all exposed me to so many d**** in such a short time span, you realize its helllaaa people (thats going out) are doing blow molly ket every weekend. and the more u around it the more normalized it is

That’s how it started with coke... literally everybody was doing it. Everybody does coke, coke flows like f***ing water. Just when they started to slow down and stop, I kept going and just finding new people to party, the d**** got harder, nights longer, and me older.

when i first started taking d**** i really went hard with the molly a while and before this time period had never gone out really, but going out on molly was just the best thing ever, and then the end of the night comes ur still geeked af and lookin for after parties cuz everyone else is drunk af but u still ready to go do s***, cuz its time to get lit yknow. and then at afters the blow really comes out, and now its 8am and u in a friend of a friend of a friends spot with a couple ppl doin lines, but hey its free right?. and exactly, i feel like ive aged so much in my face from uppers (mostly adderall but coke more recently)

Oh god the friends of friends of friends that you end up planning a trip, or business or something that you think is the best idea ever.

Man at one point last year looking at an “after party” and it was just a bunch of d*** addicts doing lines. I almost had an OBE like I was looking at the room from above and thinking how sad it really it is, and how we thought it was cool.

one time went to a show and did mda with a friend n we ran into like 4 ppl he used to party with like on the regular for years. so after the show we head to their spot, i was mad dissociated at this point on mxe and still rolling so i aint really notice but my homie said after we left the place was disgusting n had trash everywhere on the floor, said these girls were doin the same thing every weekend since way back when n still goin.

everyone in that house - the definition of shot out. one dude there offerin $7 bumps every lil while, talked to another dude bout k he said anytime he did ket he'd ggrab a ball for himself, and do it from sun up to sun down. s*** was sad af to hear no lie and im stil mad f***ed up this point n i realize like ay imma have to chill and be careful because thats not a place i wanna be at in life.

I’ve been off the bottle for over two years now. I’ve always been aware of my addictive personality. I f***ed with hydros every now and then but made sure not to do em too long. Had an 80mg oxy one night(split in two doses), and the next day said “damn that’s the dopest s*** I’ve ever done, but I ain’t doing it again because that s*** was too dope.” So I stuck to alcohol and weed, I’d mess with the other stuff every now and then but it was always short benders because I was aware of who I was.

But I didn’t see that alcohol addiction comin, and I didn’t think s*** would be so hard. Was a party animal in HS, college, and i kept that same energy when I started working and had more money to party. Became friends with the bartenders at 3 joints, always got hooked up. I’d typically have 10 beers and a few shots, then pick up a sixer on the way home. If there was alcohol in the house I wouldn’t sleep til I passed out or the s*** got drank. 30 drinks was a common night for me.

Working sales was good pay but pretty stressful, but I can’t blame anything on work. If it was a tough day I’d “go unwind at the bar.” If it was a good day I’d “go celebrate at the bar.” Always finding ways to get back to the bar. Then next thing I know I’m coming into work smelling like alcohol, showing up late and s***. Should’ve been fired for attendance, twice, but I was a top performer and my managers loved me so it always slid til the next year when the attendance tracker was reset and I never got a write up. So this went on for about 3 years and I kept going through this cycle. Started to get depressed and s***. My job was good, but I knew I could be doing more. The pay was nice but lacked fulfillment. Gained a lot of weight and out of shape, got put on blood pressure medicine, discovered I had sleep apnea(which I’ve had before the alcohol, but the alcohol exasperated my apnea and got me to finally get a sleep study). I went and bought a house but still stayed at the bars. I was depressed because of my health, my physique, my career, living far from my real friends. I could feel my organs in pain, but I’d rather drink. I knew that if I kept drinking I’d die an early death, but I didn’t give a f***. “What’s the point of getting healthy if I’m not happy in life anyway?” Was something I said. Had two close calls with a DUI. Both times I realized I was too drunk and pulled over to have someone pick me up. The first time I stopped in a parking lot, turned out to be a church. Got out the car and called someone to get me. Cop came and interrogated me but I wasn’t in the car, I probably fed him some bullshit that he didn’t buy. My friends couldn’t find me and I gave the cop my phone to give them directions. I was in a city 10 miles south of where I told them I was. Cop said if they didn’t get me soon that he was taking me in, luckily they did.

My family tried to say I had a problem and I said nah. Took way too long to admit to myself that I did. So I tried to quit, but would always relapse. Would wake up saying “Aight I’m not drinking today, just going to go the day.” Then on the commute home from work I’d convince myself to just have a couple at the bar, and it was never a couple. Longest I quit was for Lent, 40 days. Thought maybe I can handle the s*** now? Maybe do the moderation thing? Nope back to the same s***. I finally said to myself, if I fail this last time, I’m going to rehab.

From there I was open to my friends, told them that s*** had got out of hand. Just told em everything on my mind and why I was struggling with the s***. I’m in a few group texts with close friends and they supported me. I’d give them updates on any milestones. Didn’t want to let any of them or my fam down. Got into the gym. Went vegan for a year. Kept myself occupied. Made it to 30 days. Then a quarter. Then half a year. Then the year. Now it’s been two and life is good.

I remember being in my health class in middle school and my teacher saying “Once you become an alcoholic, you will always be an alcoholic. You can stop but the cravings never go away.” I thought that b**** was lying. Sorry Ms Jackson, that s***s for real. Two years and 3 months and I still get the cravings. It’s much easier to resist now, but it’s always there. I manage though. Been to the bar, weddings, parties and reunions, and I can always resist the urge now. Since I quit lost the weight, got off the blood pressure meds, got my strength back, got my attendance in order at work, got a promotion, but most importantly my lust for life is back. Late 20s now and I’m just thankful to be alive. Somehow made it without getting arrested too.

God damn didn’t realize I typed so much til I finished. Sorry it’s long af, but that’s my recovery story.