thats fantastic that you are doing much better.. and very lucky to have never been arrested. Personally, because of alcohol, I have a DUI and assault charge so I cant leave the country for a year, and you're right when it comes to alcohol the cravings never go away.

I keep telling myself that one day i'll be able to have beers with the boys again but that will probably never be the case

I had to delete snapchat last night because kids keep sending me snaps of huge bags with like 500 x**** bars in it, ounces of cocaine and just so many different opiates... to the point they are offering me them for free... like f*** I just want a normal life again.

EDIT: probably going to hit up an NA meeting tonight

I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t ever get back on the s***. Where I’ve been and where I’m at now, I cant go back again. I can still kick it with the boys though. Went to a wedding about a year ago, I drove for em. It was different. There were certainly a few moments where I started feeling a sense of disappointment in myself that I couldn’t fully participate, but it was still a great time.

Edit: quoted the wrong post meant to do the one before. But damn man that s***s f***ed up. I’d say unfollow for sure. Anyone that sends that s*** to anyone trying to get clean is foul.

i remember in rehab my buddy was telling me about how dealers would hang out around the methadone clinic to get people back.. he called them CHICKEN HAWKS lol

lol that’s like Jesse Pinkman on Breaking Bad

except its real and they were doing it with fentanyl.. and people died man

Yeah it’s f***ed up man. One of my favorite storylines in that show though, looking back, is how Jesse got Badger and Pete to do the same thing he did, but instead they liked the NA meetings and ended up getting clean instead of selling to the members.

I’ll make my 7th year of sobriety in April. S*** is hard as f*** at times y’all but just believe in you & understand the fear in going back to that. I know you’re not supposed to move with fear in life but i think this kind of fear is appropriate.

hows everybody doing today?

just a friendly bump... hope everybody is still staying strong