Mango

4y

David Blaine was tryna f*** a waitress at a restaurant my dad managed. She wanted the night off so my dad said he'd comp their dinner if they ate there. David just sat around downing beers. Took a few pics. Didn't say much. His magician buddy did a few tricks. The highlight was easily some drunk idiot trying to impress Blaine by rubbing atomic sauce in his own eyes.

u ok jay

4y

i met eminem in public and when i asked for a picture, he kicked me in the balls. i s*** you not. i was doubled over with tears in my eyes when a female exclaimed, "mr. mathers"?!!!! he said, "yeah, that's me, babe. check this out". then he kicked me in the head, pulled out his d*** (significantly smaller than i would have guessed, might i add), and pissed on my face.

Jozu

4y

This turned me on

Travis Bot

4y

Could you describe the smell for me please

CornBoy

4y

imagine you go grab a beefy five layer burrito from T Bell on the way to your girl’s place, you eat it while you’re driving but the bottom falls out and the beef and s*** get all over the car seat and you’re freakin out. You get to your girls place and should probably clean up the food but you’re tryna smash so you just leave it and say you’ll clean it up later. you get inside but your girl found out you were getting with her coworker Brenda on the side so she hit you over the head with a lead pipe, and you’re out for like three weeks. you wake up in a pile of trash outside her apartment complex but you still have your keys, you get into your car and that stain has leached into your broke ass cloth seats, you can’t see the beef anymore but you see some brown footprints leading to the backseat so you figure it evolved into a living thing and just f***in bailed. the smell of rotting food is unbearable so when you’re tryna drive home you accidentally swerve into a factory that bottles Post Malone’s sweat. That s*** just soaks into every surface of the vehicle so you leave it out with the windows open in the sun to dry out. That’s what DJ Khaled smells like