yayayaayayaya

please space this out @op and I will reply

Meditate.

I used to years ago. Have to get back into it.

Only way to win is not to play

I really think you should stop thinking about conversations in that way, there really isnt a dom in a conversation. It’s two equal people that are going to both enjoy each others company. Don’t worry about saying the right thing, it’ll turn life into a test. Kanye was right about that one. If people react negatively you have to learn to understand that it’s purely a reflection of them and not of you, even if it doesnt feel that way. Life is hard and it makes a lot of people act strange, it’s not your fault. Just try to enjoy being with other people without judging yourself.

Nah, you're lost

They might be on that bullshit, but it doesn’t make it real. Truthfully ive never even heard of this or thought about it until ive seen this post. My experience has been completely different. They’re just deluding themselves into thinking something that’s not important exists. It’s like those strange person leaning into a woman photos people make on twitter. If people are thinking like that, that’s their loss. No need to reciprocate their issues you know. A conversation isnt like trying to leverage a business deal with a tycoon or something. It’s suppose to be mutually beneficial, enjoyable and is a key part to a fulfilling human experience. You have to consider the opportunity cost of thinking like that, you’re trading valuable days of your life away, when you could be building foundational relationships with incredible people that’ll teach you how to learn and grow as a person. Life is hard and short, this kinda stuff isn’t whats important to fill your mind with.

Lol seek help

That's just an assumption though, you never truly know what other people are thinking.

The only thing you have somewhat of a control over are your own thoughts, so worry about those thoughts instead of the thoughts of randoms

That’s what I’m doing and no I don’t want a psychologist to tell me it’s all in my head cuz it’s real lol good for you to stay oblivious to the carnage of survival

Just a completely b******ized way of viewing social relations

Making this thread answers your question

If this is a normal occurrence in your life maybe ask why that is

I only learned these lessons through the hard way by making a lot of mistakes. Like I was one of those a******s for the longest time and still can be. You’re not worse than me. From the very little I can sense about you, is that you’re probably a bit sensitive, which I am as well, which can be a gift. And is common with artistically inclined people, which i assume you are if you frequent this niche art forum. With time you’ll learn to see that most a******s are just hurt people acting out and it has nothing to do with you.

I don’t even take it personal ever I understand I’m just as big a douche as they are. I just don’t like how my disinterest in engaging becomes an opening to hostility

You might not like it but it’s best to just let it go, you know. You’re not going to change people, its best to just preserve your inner peace.

Yeah just one of those things I guess. With my boss I’m a good worker, I do my job well but again I don’t try to engage in convo. Like I’m gonna just do my job but I don’t want to connect. This whole socialite crap is so over played like if I fake this 2 minute convo chatting about whatever, okay sure no harm done but also we could just not engage…. Now no rapport nothing deep and we go about our days. Btw, with women it’s an entirely different game (I’m straight). I’ll be chill with all of them be nice or whatever but the second a dom jawn starts a***yzing me it’s back to the mental games.

To add, with these types of women it’s about s***mainly and they’ll eye you down and look for flaws or reason’s I’m not man enough for em. I do care about this tbh cuz na I’m not tryna f*** rn but yea I would like to know u felt I was man enough for the job. Small things and irrelevant, I don’t think about this s*** all the time, just sometimes when I’m dreading going to work it’s like ahhhh here we go again

I don't know that I'm saying anything new with a lot of people's self-worth is based on their performance at work.

You largely describe a lack of communicated boundaries

Observations:

In your head I think the kindness you extend is you fronting that you're not the dominant person in your relationships.

You're lying to yourself saying you don't care if you're dominated.

Follow-up questions:

What do you front and why do you front it?
What does the word "dominate" mean to you in the workplace?

Good catch I totally don’t let that slide. Just sometimes I’m so unengaged that I’ll not even pay attention or care about the customer having their little moment. Cheap wins

Front like the simple introduction to the store, reading out the menu if they need help, it’s all an act. Like I’m actually chill but when I’m working I kinda have to be a serious, get it done type

Dominate is many things. Micro things. A slight grin, a bit of a stare, sometimes my boss gets pressed cuz of so many orders and he starts to become a dominant a******. I don’t take it to heart cuz I get he’s stressed but def doesn’t go unnoticed.

The middle aged guy I mentioned he like walked in and yelled out his order at me, that was a moment of someone exerting dominance. Like that’s not how you do that old man I’m not your b****. My only clap back is to serve him with no expression and not engage in his gluttonous pointless convo

sounds like you need to reference the terms of service next time. Cite policy where possible

wait a minute …

it's part of the job, comes with the role. Also, yes that is how relationships work