Shabazz999

5y

if we're being idealistic, wouldn't the best possible solution to this issue be eliminating the cause of "not being ready" and doing something about the cost to raise a child being half of many people's annual salary?

math fifty

5y

Aight lets just meet in the middle

Like i told @FREE Id only agree with yall if there was some way to grant federal aid to mothers who carried a baby to term when the father didnt consent to fathering a child

TIIMMY BURNER

5y

Oh no there is. Y'all just don't like the idea of a man walking out on a child even if he didn't want it and tried everything not to.

I'll use myself as an example. I'm not sure the specifics of my birth, but I'll just make up somethings for the sake of the example because my case is one reverse of this thread.

So, say my mother didn't want me throughout the whole 9 months of her pregnancy, and the only reason she didn't abort me was because my dad wanted a child. Fast forward, she left me and started a new family and my dad shouldered the burden of raising me on his own. Now would I blame her for that? No of course not. She took both parties feelings into consideration and made the choice to give my dad the baby he wanted and let him deal with the consequence of having a baby she didn't want, which was raising it alone.

If I'm capable of applying this logic to my own life and not blame my mother for not sticking around for something she never wanted, how is it so difficult to do the same but in reverse. If people aren't ready, they aren't ready and that's okay. I'm never going to be mad at her if she only had me cause he wanted a son and then peaced out.

TIIMMY BURNER

5y

Oh no there is. Y'all just don't like the idea of a man walking out on a child even if he didn't want it and tried everything not to.

I'll use myself as an example. I'm not sure the specifics of my birth, but I'll just make up somethings for the sake of the example because my case is one reverse of this thread.

So, say my mother didn't want me throughout the whole 9 months of her pregnancy, and the only reason she didn't abort me was because my dad wanted a child. Fast forward, she left me and started a new family and my dad shouldered the burden of raising me on his own. Now would I blame her for that? No of course not. She took both parties feelings into consideration and made the choice to give my dad the baby he wanted and let him deal with the consequence of having a baby she didn't want, which was raising it alone.

If I'm capable of applying this logic to my own life and not blame my mother for not sticking around for something she never wanted, how is it so difficult to do the same but in reverse. If people aren't ready, they aren't ready and that's okay. I'm never going to be mad at her if she only had me cause he wanted a son and then peaced out.

insertcoolnamehere

5y

You have this thing (and not just here but in a lot of posts) where you think because how you react to something, it should be universal.

But that's not the case (and you know this). The way you reacted is not and will never be the norm. Most kids from this are traumatized because of this kind of stuff. Especially when it comes to abandonment issues that most kids have to find ways to cope through as they grow.

Congratulations, you found a positive way to cope with your mom abandoning yall. No matter how you try to spin it, she did abandon yall, and there is no right or wrong way to react to that. But by the definition, that is abandoning responsibilities.

And you can't get mad that other people see it like that.

The Man

5y

So you are just using your situation and trauma and projecting it onto this argument, yes?

insertcoolnamehere

5y

what I learned through this thread is

1) yall really really hate condoms

2) yall really really really realllllllly hate kids

3) this forum really really really really needs some more women.

VA7a

5y

So was mine lmao but they still said that the best way to not have babies is to not f*** at all because you have a risk to create a family.
NO THEYRE BOTH WRONG NEITHER SHOULD BAIL ON THE KID. Two wrongs dont make a right.

insertcoolnamehere

5y

what I learned through this thread is

1) yall really really hate condoms

2) yall really really really realllllllly hate kids

3) this forum really really really really needs some more women.

VA7a

5y

i sent this to my gf
she said this thread (not OP) is one of the reasons she wont be on this site

MM6 Moka

5y

S***Ed anywhere is f***ing trash bro but then it just comes down to how you see abortion then, I just said bail because it was an easier way to word it, but if a woman can choose to get rid of her child up to a certain point in a pregnancy I feel like a man should be given a certain amount of time that he can walk out, equality should be upheld from all angles, but if you pro life my whole argument don’t mean s*** to you

BLACK

5y

if she can kill it i can abandon that f***er

VA7a

5y

i sent this to my gf
she said this thread (not OP) is one of the reasons she wont be on this site

TIIMMY BURNER

5y

No I'm using my situation to say I understand not being ready for a child and leaving it for the one that was ready to handle if they made the decision to have it. That's why I said I'm not upset with my mother if she knew from day 1 of being pregnant she wasn't f***ing with a baby and only had me because my dad wanted me. And in the same token, I don't believe she should've been forced to help my dad if she only gave birth to me because he wanted a baby. I just take that logic and apply it to the reverse genders.

insertcoolnamehere

5y

You have this thing (and not just here but in a lot of posts) where you think because how you react to something, it should be universal.

But that's not the case (and you know this). The way you reacted is not and will never be the norm. Most kids from this are traumatized because of this kind of stuff. Especially when it comes to abandonment issues that most kids have to find ways to cope through as they grow.

Congratulations, you found a positive way to cope with your mom abandoning yall. No matter how you try to spin it, she did abandon yall, and there is no right or wrong way to react to that. But by the definition, that is abandoning responsibilities.

And you can't get mad that other people see it like that.

VA7a

5y

Nah Abortions cool lmao I dont think anyone should walk out on their kid but we disagree

TIIMMY BURNER

5y

But you're missing the point that the kid even existing to be traumatized is because one parent wanted it more than the other and sought out to make it a reality. The kid is going to feel how they feel, I know kids with two active parents still have disdain for their parents. But I'm talking about respecting the two individuals as their own person's and not parent robots.

And I'm not basing this off my own feelings. I never drew the parallels between my mom leaving me and a dad leaving a kid he didn't want until I started thinking more. Same thing with my first reply, I wasn't saying because I came out of it a certain way, that every kid comes out of it the same way. As a matter of fact I acknowledged not every kid comes out viewing it the same way and that's why from the mother's perspective if you know the dad doesn't want involvement wait for a man who does. You're going to carry a child to term knowing the dad doesn't want involvement just to cry when the baby is here that the dad isn't involved? How does that make sense.?

The Man

5y

Don’t you think your argument would be dif if you grew up in a 2 parent household tho?

My dad died when I was 4 from a plane accident. After that, I saw first hand how hard it was for my mom to raise my sister and I herself. For you to say you would willingly put another woman and child in that situation because it is Inconvienient to you is wild to me

insertcoolnamehere

5y

"You're going to carry a child to term knowing the dad doesn't want involvement just to cry when the baby is here that the dad isn't involved? How does that make sense.?"

I mean all of this can be avoided by