Come on Eagles! 🦅

Yeezy Season 3 The Life of Pablo show

Goddamn what a momment.

Need addy and head

:D

The Eagles really fumbled this game. Wow.

Aye that cooking show lit @ShintaroKago

So bored

I really hate teenagers from my country. I know I sound like a boomer, but that generation born around 2003-08 might be the most idiotic ever.

It really really saddens me I can't see the idols in my culture grow old dog.

sites fried

Got a parking citation on campus

4 hour nap feel like a million bucks

damn i’m finally at the crossroads

tbh i hate how the internet explains narcs as these lifeless unemotional monsters

its like if you would read up about a person with autism or adhd
everything seems to be stretched over the limits and its make the people seem like other wordly non functional animals

what ppl need to realize imo is that like anyone else with a disorder, these folks are also just humans, albeit with a distorted mind and ways of interpreting certain aspects of the "normal" human being

BUT THEN WHAT IS REALLY NORMAL?

cause i wondered how could some just harm me like that and not care? even do it on purpose on times
but still seemingly show the greatest face of regret, when you decide to call them out for it and leave?

its because they DO care, albeit in difficult or different way of showing
for example how someone with autism has difficulties showing emotions of some sorts, they will find a way to communicate this, albeit in a strange/odd manner that isnt according to regular behavioral etiquette

cause with all these narcs oddly, i also had very great times
where they were just normal,tolerable humans, excited to talk and experience some sorts of happiness

BUT

what also was remarkable, is that theyre stories then again, used to be about how they WERE so cool and cruel at the same time too and how they were now basically "has beens" or "shells of their formers selfs", looking for someone or something to keep this spark up

for the narcs in my life(for everyone its diff obv) they adored/loved certain traits/qualities of me

that they either never had and wanted to badly to benefit them
or that they used to have, but have lost

SO AGAIN
they must have seen or experienced certain great moment with you, that has caused them to want to stay close with u

they trust you and look upto u or those traits
but again, theyre language isnt really capable of articulating this
they will do so;
-when they use your talents, to belittle others

• when they need you to guide them
• when they fear u are leaving
• in a jokingly manner
  or when they flat copy you or whatever u got

cause as soon as i read;
narcs dont value nobody, they dont have emotions, everyone is an object blabla

i thought to myself..that doesnt make sense? if it doesnt matter, then why pick and choose the first person your eyes meet? its not like any of the narcs i met valued homeless people?
no they all wanted to be part of popular group or an elite group, they wanted to be SEEN and FELT in every room they walked, as a top tier person, so whom did they surround themselves with or tried to, even by proxy? People with value.

If theres one thing they all had in common from ex narc friends to my girlfriend, they would trashtalk almost everybody they knew, me too behind my back.
But they did more of an EFFORT to keep these people out of field of sight too. Or would act very snarky/silent when in presence.
But take my ex, she would literally "fight" to keep me. My ex friends would also do the most to apologize after they knew they f***ed me up pretty bad, fearing my response or reaction.

Now again, i also realize the connection between you and regular friends is way diff than that with your girlfriend

cause its then i learned

when you meet the narc for the first time, u meet the real them
when u leave them, u meet the real them again just with a diff paint

cause think about it
when u met them(atleast in my case) they seemed very down to earth people, in your presence they got silent and also nearly always seemed to ask after your presence. In my case they even had they normal lingo and style.
The first hint is when they start asking about your interests and lfie etc so they know what it is and how it is, you are you. And instead of understanding that nobody has the same lifestory or personality, they will flat out copy you, so they can become you.

So now when you leave them, you will again be confronted by the real person.

A vulnerable and scared background person, that doesnt have much to offer, but literally needs you like a flashing light to guide em through the woods in the dark.
Thats all i saw in their eyes and being.

Only exception is as mentioned the paint layer
as they will prolly have copied you already and are trying to use this to trick you

You will notice how they speak good about you and only listen, as their words are too fragile and are bouncing off eggshales all the time. And are interested in who u are, what you are upto etc..

And this is the real them
empty vezels on this earth, that feel like they dont belong
that look for someone to grab them by the hand and guide them
but then their corrupt minds take over sadly and they want you
to embody you

they realize what they have done
thats what u see when you leave them
and they know they are wrong, but its difficult for them to show remorse as they get stuck in this instant grandiosity reflex that blocks it

also in the fact, that when u happen to face them later on life, they are usually too scared to confront you
you know them
they are weak
and dont want to growth or empower
they cant
and they know you know
and they also know what they have done to you

so usually these ppl will contact via via
but rather not straight in person and specially not alone

*BECAUSE THEY CAN FEEL. AND HAVE EMOTIONS AND MEMORIES LIKE ANYONE OUT THERE

the thing is, by the time u realize
u dont look at these eyes with empathy no more
just as weird and twisted kids, that are pathetic

that want you to help them to become better
but at the same time refuse to hand you any rope
only sobstories, misleading you into believing you can help

so yeah they know damn well who you are
a good and better version, a human they crave to be
the human they scrutinze behind close doors, but need so desperately on every street corner, to enhance them and guide them

but they just keep thinking;
i am him. But why does it still only keep happening with him? The magic?
How come it dont happen to me?

And instead of reflecting and creating your own force of human nature
they rather point their finger, and victimize the people they love, for being uncapable of being the person they want to be.

It frustrates them that they need to live with themselves every day all day
but thats what they choose to be

so yes narcs have emotions, are humans and are aware
its just that they are so aware, that they are flawed and come behind
they choose grandiosity to make up for it...

Should I continue ghosting this one old friend or explain why I don't wanna be friends anymore