So since this has gotten trendier and i felt my story was somewhat interesting, given the diff POVs, i thought why not;

So lets get this clear as person with ADHD, an African person living in a very racist enviromn, it was bonkers, specially cause i wasnt diagnosed back then, like a really different person

To draw a picture of my life at the start, i was a pretty good defender in a 3rd div football team, but had torn my ACL, so i was even on crutches during our first date but i felt back then, that because of the free time i got now, i wanted to look for a girlfriend

So ngl, had alot of dates via dating apps, then i met her, so at the start, everything was wonderful, u meet a girl thats into everything u are magically, specially when it comes to taste and if she doesnt know about, she wants to learn about it

so everything was great, i could also be myself(my true ADHD self) and just overall explore, she was beautiful as hell too, plus lockdown started, we had even more time to feel free and just love

But then after that glorious summer(which ended with a very bad lsd trip lmao) a very, very gloomy era started, i recall it as a fog, where in the random flashes, i just vague images of mainly arguing, feeling somewhat disoriented(?) and just nothing else but weed/lean, which didnt really help my mental

So now we were reaching a very first climax, where for no she reason she got thunderously mad and just basically rearranged her entire home, in a storm of rabies-like anger, which ended in her kicking me in the chest, which basically catapulted me in a closet, where a clothing hanger, got launched right next to my eye ball, which left in me storming away.....but returning

I c this as a vital point, as looking back, here is where i certainly gave a greenlight to the narc, i was forgiving aka u will take my abuse

Hey what does narc mean in this context because I thought a narc was like an undercover cop

Narcissist

Oh thanks

By this point, she had also already cheated on me, but obviously i wasnt aware, my ADHD/autistic mind felt it, but i wasnt taking anything srs, but i started to feel strange and alot of my then undiagnosed ADHD traits started to worsen

The next year kicks in and i just remember this, as the time where i, as a human, finally submitted and admitted to the restraints of pain and conflict and told her "I think am depressed"

Now u would think your girlfriend would help and lend a shoulder but all i was met with, was anger and her accusing me of being weak and threatening to dump me, if i were to continuo being a depressed human

This was btw after our 1st annivers, so this is what i recall as entering the era my mind slowly started to to spiral down and drown in this water twister, alot of issues and conflicts but i had now become a prisoner of myself, that is handcuffed to a poisonous love

i recall nothing but utter darkness, being confronted by a love to that turns into evil at the blink of an eye, bullying, gaslighting...Which drove me insane(undiagnosed adhd), i literally thought i was insane. I was accused from all sides and bullied, my ego was literally a cherry-pit, chewed out the devils mouth and kicked around the 7th circle of hell

Are you autistic or do you have adhd those aren’t the same I’m confused alrdy

it was gruesome

someone that literally copies your mannerism, likes, personality, tastes etc...

i recall shots of her eyes, but they are filled with blackness, emptiness, anger, vengeance... It was a gruesome era, only kept alive by the smoke sessions fog, drawing the images of the trauma...

It was literally waking up, feeling sick, puking at the most random moment, even in public
it was a very distorted sense of self, may i say even completely lost
it was like being mist, or hoping so, that youd walk in the street and just blend in with the mouthbreathers, cause your vezzel is weak, it non existent, couldnt even stare into anyones eyes

and all this time i had become a dart, ready to be thrown at any pile of s*** available, a never ending crash course on a mental and physical level

being choked to death almost, being beaten, being thrown things at, being verbally beaten almost daily, by her and her narc family, it was a never ending cycle, and all this time i couldnt escape it, cause i was in love with her and never suspected her to be one of the major evils, causing it

they are the same, last few yrs they got recatgorized, alot of symptons overlap

All I can say is don’t let this make you jaded but learn from it.

And stay away from d****

sorry that happened to you

hope you have begun the healing process and its been going well

……. No they’re not lol

Symptoms overlapping is not enough to say they’re the sam thing lmao what

?

There's a lot of overlap but ADHD is definitely not on the autism spectrum

Narcissists are the worst bro. They will try to convince you that it's always YOU at fault, then treat you like s*** for having boundaries or discussing things that bother you. Just an absolute mess of human beings 🚮

@op a poet

Happy for you bro, or sorry to hear that

Should’ve put her in a headlock after that kick tho

NLC alt?

Hell naw

Prove it by telling me how many underprivileged people you’ve stepped over in the last week

I aint nice at all, only immortal like Christ

my life had seem broken, only ironically my music started really blowing up which obviously caused them more jealousy, so they had to abuse harder

I can say, weed was my best friend, it helped my up to fall right back down again, it was like the relationship with my ex, 2 good minutes of bonding followed by what seems eternal hell

it all came together, one night where i confronted her for cheating, so she obviously had to commit suicide, to guilt trip(she literally sent that in a msg prior to doing it) and me saving her, we had a little forced break

its here i got my diagnoses with critical ratings, and started to learn i wasnt actually crazy, its just that certain people to advantages of certain mental weaknesses and exploited those and that my emotional regulation is very diff, which means i feel evrything intenser; aka depression/anxiety is very much more likely

So after this 3 month break, i was a new person, figuring myself out and the world around me, and i started looking in a different way at her too, where it all started calm, it soon again started to turn into a vehicule that was on a crash course

This time i was prepared, but still hurt, as the first of my life, whoms life i literally saved, turned out to be almost reincarnation of evil, but ive learned alot and am thankful, by the time i broke up alot of my feelings were gone, but the truth still in the mist, as the trauma was still hidden

Now almosty a year later, i recall it as something of worst nightmare and lesson, if youd count everything up i experienced there, it would be a book, its living and witnessing an explicit of hell in humanity u cannot believe u survived or went through, how a relationship went from butterflies, to true horror on all levels, nonstop.

Its only normal, u face the mirror and learn lessons from this, cause i had promised myself, hand on my soul that id NEVER EVER AGAIN go through such cruelty again, it had almost killed me, from mood, to personality from passion, joy and eargerness to my soul

yeah this one was srs killer, bad friend group and ex, they was into all sorts of d****, but boi that killed my perception and thinking, like it just made everything harder to follow, i was completely gone basically

thanks fam

and oh yes ive healed
happy and proud man, with lots of new wisdom and new look on the world, am actually happier than ever

like if the people that talked to me on the streets would know where i was a year ago, they wouldnt believe it