Long story short, I've realized I'm a toxic person who has commitment issues and apparently has Avoidant Personality Disorder.

I'm thinking therapy can help, but funds may be a little tight rn. (if anyone knows cheap online therapists, I'm down though).

How can I fix my toxicity for a future girlfriend?

Go to the gym

I already do that bro. Plus, the gym doesn't solve everything

Become a hermit.
Focus on God

Gg

Just cause you go to the gym doesn’t mean you know discipline… self reflection is a must go travel and come back see if you learn something about yourself

any suggestions on places to travel to remove the toxicity?

Randomly book a flight don’t matter tbh

The fact that you already know you’re toxic is the first step

Get off this site asap

idk why niggas trying to turn you into a monk itt lol

but the best thing, especially at first (after realizing which is what you did and is good) is to try to recognize the moments even the small n more common but "not big deal" ones and try to instantly reflect and correct it either during it or afterward

it will also get you into a mode over time to not do it so often, how to apologize/correct/admit to it in a serious offense, and eventually change your actual pattern if youre serious to the commit and correction.

it is not an over night thing, but you are in the right direction and taking the good proper steps.

@op

now, the "why"part of you doing it or developed this is the therapy part that can also help in identifying when you do it or about to, but you can still make steps and self regulate yourself before you go to that stage or have the time/money/area/comfort to do so

Im ngl realizing is the first step fr

as you grow and change to become a kind and better person, remember that currently the world is in a very toxic state. being toxic is the average rn. it used to be fun, but so many people started being like that for engagement on social media

anyway //

1.remove yourself from toxic people and toxic environments // you're gonna lose/outgrow people and people are going to look at you like you think you're better than them, don't think you're better than them just understand what you're doing and what stage they're in. Through being a better person you will somehow magically attract better people and kinder people as well.

2.understand what type of person you want to be // me personally, im not one of those fake happy go lucky, bubbly mfs who all smiles all day. i am cool af tho, and that's the lane i play in real life. a cool person who cares about people and goes above and beyond. depending on who you wanna be, it may be helpful to try to reconnect with your own values you had as a child and to actively and forcefully make them a part of who you are again against all resistance.

3. Me personally I lean into God, idk how anyone does it without Him but I do see people who are kind and successful etc without it ... for me tho God is a main thing for wisdom, guidance and discernment of situations . Lean onto Him, or whatever grounds you.

4. actively assess toxic content/shit you engage with and do the opposite . go fall in love with the wholesome stuff about life that you enjoy, and find new things you enjoy as well

idk thats a couple things, you'll probably learn your own stuff on your journey as well // ★✦🙂‍↕️

ALSO , not being toxic doesn't mean just going with EVERYTHING the world is currently saying is the right way. if you look at society they constantly are making mistakes that at the time they say is the way to be and judge others for not being on that page, figure out what matters at the heart of it and your role in it and run that s*** up - co'z

thanks man. i appreciate this advice. i realized i play too many games with girls and even some friends (a large part is probably cause i'm avoidant by nature due to abandonment and want others to feel this pain - which is a terrible thing to do).

i just have to catch myself and commit to things to more, even if i know it's going to be rough

nah fr, like i said you dont gotta od on this s*** its mad simple

you CAN be a monk if you want to tho, but its not that deep

just strive to be good

@op this right here

you got more threads in the last 12 months than most people here have posts

sites like ktt2 are surface level interactions that lack depth

you use sites like these to avoid people

its hard to form a personality and relationships when you costantly hiding behind screens and screen names

fire advice man. appreciate this

yeah, i deleted all my social media except this and reddit.

might close my account here and my reddit account

we all have our own issues but we can do what we can to make it better which will undeniably make life in general better all around too

just because it happens doesnt give it an excuse to keep happening, but recognizing it and then trying to find ways to control and correct is great and something everyone should be encouraged to do so with whatever interal/personal negative trait. and i believe (and people do) there can be change if treated with enough care and time

fasho fasho... one other thing i wanna make sure i say ,

you dont have to be no b****

if a mf really trying you you can still cuss them out or beat that mf depending on the situation

some things though, you will realize are worth sliding. or come from deeper issues within that person that need to be nurtured.

but dont get taken advantage of, people finna see yo light as you grow it

Going full hermit might not be the answer either. If you delete reddit/here your habits will just find somewhere else to go.

Rather than delete, just lurk more and post less.

Build a better habit rather than replacing.

facts, and its always better to be practical and realistic than extreme and "mystical/abstract" about these kinds of things!

i am all about giving advice n methods that the normal real person can realistically do and try

or just workout in your own space

besides reading (mainly reading manga and the Steve Jobs' biography), gym, climbing, and cycling, what are some other habits I can adopt?

i don't really got close friends since i recently moved to a new city a few months ago for work

a place you wanna go to that makes YOU happy or a place you always wanted to see, its diff for everyone.

ima stop talkin tho this whole 1st page pretty much full of the answer