But I’m not ready to give up the substance use. Not a single day I don’t think about getting my mind altered. But I don’t think my addiction is getting in the way as I’m responsible and I can go months without it no problem.
If you don’t wanna be a loser and you won’t to lead by example, then quit the substances. Practice what you preach and you will truly be a leader
how about you assimilate both roles and become a villain for the bad people and an example for the good people
in order to achieve full balance in life is by being a shadow and a beacon of light, at the same time
a true warrior applies his gentleness most of the times, but must be ready for the worst enemies
I’ve fully come to term with who I am, my flaws, and how people perceive me. After thinking about my time in recovery and all the traumas that have come with it, I’ve got 3 paths.
1. Fully Settle in to the villain role that I’ve carried for awhile and accept that I’m the bad guy in this world.
2. Embrace my flaws and be the loser to lead with example, show people how non violent I really am, and try to be positive influences in other people’s lives, but also don’t take disrespect as I’m also a man with integrity.
3. Completely shed my identity and personality away and become a blank slate, and pick up personality traits from people and media around me.
The first 2 are likely gonna be one of the roads I take but path 3 is still possible. I can feel my identity slipping away slowly anyway.
Imma just tell you now, I was a villain at one point, completely mellowed out into essentially nothingness (to my ops’ pleasant surprise), and am getting back to being the villain. You do not want to mellow out into nothingness. That’s a warning
how about you assimilate both roles and become a villain for the bad people and an example for the good people
in order to achieve full balance in life is by being a shadow and a beacon of light, at the same time
a true warrior applies his gentleness most of the times, but must be ready for the worst enemies
“a true warrior applies his gentleness most of the times, but must be ready for the worst enemies”
That’s what I’m thinking.
Imma just tell you now, I was a villain at one point, completely mellowed out into essentially nothingness (to my ops’ pleasant surprise), and am getting back to being the villain. You do not want to mellow out into nothingness. That’s a warning
Oh also, because you’re even in such a place, you really need at least ONE person you can trust. This type of s*** hardens you into someone you never expected to become, you need to stay human. Gotta love something.
Just to be clear
When I say villain I mean just generally rejecting society as a whole. Sometimes I’d rather not be a part of it. But then I remember there are actually people I like but I can’t keep any sort of relationship going with people. My villain arcs mostly consist of total rejection of people. I generally detest humanity and society but I’ll still help people if it doesn’t inconvenience me like buying a dude who needs to see his sister a train ticket so he can make it home. I guess I’d fall under the antihero category
Sometimes I wish I can’t be seen by people. Maybe it’s a byproduct of everything that went down at ERC cause I felt that way immediately when I was being judged by a lot of other patients for just existing
@op Not reading all this but I think you might need therapy
I’m seeing one. It’s only been a couple sessions tho and we mostly talk about Eating disorder s*** and not s*** like this. Maybe I need another for this purpose
Just to be clear
When I say villain I mean just generally rejecting society as a whole. Sometimes I’d rather not be a part of it. But then I remember there are actually people I like but I can’t keep any sort of relationship going with people. My villain arcs mostly consist of total rejection of people. I generally detest humanity and society but I’ll still help people if it doesn’t inconvenience me like buying a dude who needs to see his sister a train ticket so he can make it home. I guess I’d fall under the antihero category
What do you do other than work? I’m noticing a lot of men’s lives are more and more just becoming work and then go home.
I’m seeing one. It’s only been a couple sessions tho and we mostly talk about Eating disorder s*** and not s*** like this. Maybe I need another for this purpose
Give it time brother
What do you do other than work? I’m noticing a lot of men’s lives are more and more just becoming work and then go home.
Nothing really cause I don’t know what else to do when outside other than go to the store or take a walk. I don’t like going to bars and going to the arcade everyday will get boring eventually
Nothing really cause I don’t know what else to do when outside other than go to the store or take a walk. I don’t like going to bars and going to the arcade everyday will get boring eventually
I feel you. I was in that rut like a year and a half ago. Best thing you could really do is put yourself out there to build and maintain relationships or pick up a hobby/skill and just grind that if you just don’t wanna be social at all like that
I feel you. I was in that rut like a year and a half ago. Best thing you could really do is put yourself out there to build and maintain relationships or pick up a hobby/skill and just grind that if you just don’t wanna be social at all like that
I been thinkin bout rapping for fun again
I think I’ll play around on like bandlab since my computer is ass but I think producing isn’t enough to really enough to express myself I just wanna say wild s*** over beats