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  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Fargo PFLP

    Me and the Girl I was planning on marrying broke up today. It’s not because of us more so her father saying that since we aren’t part of the same ethic group and he threatened to kill her if she ever tried marrying a man of a different ethnicity. I spoke to him about it and he said he actually likes me a lot but thinks it’s wrong for me to marry her because I’m a not from their country. I’m genuinely devastated because at first he didn’t care that I wasn’t part of their ethnic group then suddenly changed his mind. If anybody has ever been through something like this please give me some advice.

    What ethnic group if you don’t mind me asking? I think the rest of the family/environment around him is affecting his decision. He might like you but older generation immigrants also have to be a part of the immigrant environment around them. Might be worried about what his peers think ( which are probably as old if not older than him )

    Honor is an important thing in these cultures, but you could try to change his mindset on the matter, he might change his decision?

  • Aug 5
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    1 reply
    Smartphone

    What ethnic group if you don’t mind me asking? I think the rest of the family/environment around him is affecting his decision. He might like you but older generation immigrants also have to be a part of the immigrant environment around them. Might be worried about what his peers think ( which are probably as old if not older than him )

    Honor is an important thing in these cultures, but you could try to change his mindset on the matter, he might change his decision?

    My mom is a black Libyan and my father is Palestinian. The girl is Chechen.

  • Fargo PFLP

    My mom is a black Libyan and my father is Palestinian. The girl is Chechen.

    Yeah it’s a tough situation to be in, it’s really hard to give advice on this but personally if i was going through this i’d try to change his decision by learning more about his culture and being respectful about their customs, and spending more time with her family.

  • Anyone getting married

  • voodoo

    🕋

    Introductory books:
    The Qur'an: Translated by M. A. S. Abdel Haleem
    Muhammad by Martin Lings
    The Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X and Alex Haley
    The Road to Mecca by Muhammad Asad
    Purification of the Heart by Hamza Yusuf
    Lost Islamic History by Firas Alkhateeb
    Misquoting Muhammad by Jonathan A.C Brown
    Islam and the Destiny of Man by Gai Eaton

    today got me thinking hard about who i am

  • Can you guys make Dua for my girls grandfather

    He’s been on a ventilator for Covid/complications

    His name is Abu

  • Sep 13
    ·
    1 reply
    Fargo PFLP

    Me and the Girl I was planning on marrying broke up today. It’s not because of us more so her father saying that since we aren’t part of the same ethic group and he threatened to kill her if she ever tried marrying a man of a different ethnicity. I spoke to him about it and he said he actually likes me a lot but thinks it’s wrong for me to marry her because I’m a not from their country. I’m genuinely devastated because at first he didn’t care that I wasn’t part of their ethnic group then suddenly changed his mind. If anybody has ever been through something like this please give me some advice.

    nationalism and tribalism is a disease

  • Sep 14
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    1 reply
    EMY

    nationalism and tribalism is a disease

    They’re both VERY un-Islamic concepts, no doubt. If two Muslims decide they want to marry each other, literally nothing in accordance with our faith can stop them.

    I had a Christian gf. Wonderful, love of my life tbh. She was studying Islam and wanted to learn more about it as we were getting serious about marriage. I thought it was all good till she hit me with the “Wait, so my kids won’t know what it’s like to sit around a Christmas tree?”

    I probably offered one or two rebuttals around Eid and our own festivities, but she was hurt in her eyes I could tell. I thought, who am I to take that from her? Everyone has a right to raise the kids they wish.

    It soured, & we broke up - but we still unfortunately love each other lol. It’s been 4 years since we broke up, but we’ll still occasionally do cringe s*** like, view each other’s stories (even though we don’t follow each other), msg & delete like at, 3am in the morning. Etc

  • Sep 15
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    1 reply
    This is ALPHABEAR

    They’re both VERY un-Islamic concepts, no doubt. If two Muslims decide they want to marry each other, literally nothing in accordance with our faith can stop them.

    I had a Christian gf. Wonderful, love of my life tbh. She was studying Islam and wanted to learn more about it as we were getting serious about marriage. I thought it was all good till she hit me with the “Wait, so my kids won’t know what it’s like to sit around a Christmas tree?”

    I probably offered one or two rebuttals around Eid and our own festivities, but she was hurt in her eyes I could tell. I thought, who am I to take that from her? Everyone has a right to raise the kids they wish.

    It soured, & we broke up - but we still unfortunately love each other lol. It’s been 4 years since we broke up, but we’ll still occasionally do cringe s*** like, view each other’s stories (even though we don’t follow each other), msg & delete like at, 3am in the morning. Etc

    I know it’s painful but I believe you did the right thing brother. I know so many kids with one Muslim and one Christian parent, who just end up atheist or non religious because they find themselves “caught in the middle.”

    Was the Christmas tree the only thing that prevented her from converting?

  • Sep 15
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    1 reply
    EMY

    I know it’s painful but I believe you did the right thing brother. I know so many kids with one Muslim and one Christian parent, who just end up atheist or non religious because they find themselves “caught in the middle.”

    Was the Christmas tree the only thing that prevented her from converting?

    Ya, she wasn’t racist, nor was her family tbh. Our families all kinda already met, my parents liked her, her parents liked me.

    It was a lack of communication. Her family was under the impression I’d become Christian, my family was thinking she’d become Muslim.

    She told me she’d convert to Islam, but when it came down to studying it + her family realizing she was gonna convert (and not me). So at that time, her fam prolly hit her with the “holy s***, are you SURE??”. Which probably got her thinking.

    No drinking + no Christmas is a huge change, it’s the equivalent of me STARTING to drink + no Eid. I could NEVER agree to those terms, so I was wrong to assume she could.

  • In

  • Sep 15
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    1 reply
    This is ALPHABEAR

    Ya, she wasn’t racist, nor was her family tbh. Our families all kinda already met, my parents liked her, her parents liked me.

    It was a lack of communication. Her family was under the impression I’d become Christian, my family was thinking she’d become Muslim.

    She told me she’d convert to Islam, but when it came down to studying it + her family realizing she was gonna convert (and not me). So at that time, her fam prolly hit her with the “holy s***, are you SURE??”. Which probably got her thinking.

    No drinking + no Christmas is a huge change, it’s the equivalent of me STARTING to drink + no Eid. I could NEVER agree to those terms, so I was wrong to assume she could.

    This begs the question, were the Christians of back in the day this lenient on drinking alcohol and celebrating pagan holidays or was it actually more similar to Islam? 🤔

  • Sep 15
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    2 replies

    giving up on religion entirely

  • Sep 15
    ·
    1 reply
    Creasy

    giving up on religion entirely

    why?

  • Sep 15
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    edited
    ·
    1 reply
    voodoo

    why?

    not enough self control, eagerness and discipline to abide by a righteous lifestyle
    with no motivation to change any of that

    it jus is what it is at this point

  • be2sane

    This begs the question, were the Christians of back in the day this lenient on drinking alcohol and celebrating pagan holidays or was it actually more similar to Islam? 🤔

    some scholars do say that the thing about being allowed to marry christians and jews is because back in the days christians and jews were more like us than they are now

  • Creasy

    giving up on religion entirely

  • Sep 15
    ·
    2 replies

    anyone here remember umarov from ktt1? i remember him. what happened to him? man lowkey seemed like an ISIS member

  • Sep 21
    Kako

    anyone here remember umarov from ktt1? i remember him. what happened to him? man lowkey seemed like an ISIS member

    think he got banned

  • Sep 21
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    1 reply
    Kako

    anyone here remember umarov from ktt1? i remember him. what happened to him? man lowkey seemed like an ISIS member

    what makes you say that?

  • Sep 21
    ·
    1 reply
    Creasy

    not enough self control, eagerness and discipline to abide by a righteous lifestyle
    with no motivation to change any of that

    it jus is what it is at this point

    so why don't you begin by taking steps to attain a
    'righteous' lifestyle?

  • Fargo PFLP

    Me and the Girl I was planning on marrying broke up today. It’s not because of us more so her father saying that since we aren’t part of the same ethic group and he threatened to kill her if she ever tried marrying a man of a different ethnicity. I spoke to him about it and he said he actually likes me a lot but thinks it’s wrong for me to marry her because I’m a not from their country. I’m genuinely devastated because at first he didn’t care that I wasn’t part of their ethnic group then suddenly changed his mind. If anybody has ever been through something like this please give me some advice.

    damn wish i saw this earlier

  • just wasn't meant to be in your naseeb brother, i'm sure you have something better waiting for you.

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