Him blaming his dad for your mom's loss is f***ed up. And the fact he treats his dad like s*** in front of his girlfriend os horrible too.

What that mean tho

For better or worse when I'm pissed off when it comes to interpersonal relationships I don't really usually get angry or violent. I just go quiet and disappointed but rarely forget. I end up like a sponge. To get me actually angry you have to hurt someone around me. On the other hand a lot of people in my fam get angry towards others. This is why my outburst surprised me, but i had to say something.

Ur bro is trippin frfr, that s*** would make me mad too I feel u

sound like ur bro didn't process the trauma well, but at the same time i don't think u did the wrong thing

yall play too much

Yeah I suppose so. but at this point I'm tired of giving the benefit of the doubt when you cause such a headache

ain't read entirely but from my understanding

• your brother has his own reasons to be like this, and this can only be discussed if you approach him differently, idk how but I'm pretty sure a family gathering was NOT the best moment to do that, especially if you don't keep the discussion between you and him
• of course, it's a normal reaction to call him out, but things should be better calculated, your pop only wanted to give y'alls the best life he could, I'm sure it's not a good view from his perspective to see you and your brother in that way, he'll feel like its his fault
• I think a good start is to propose some group/family therapy

Yeah that's gotta be his girl in his ear telling him he's "not in touch with his feminine side like that" tryna psycho-analyze that s*** to convince him it's because he lacked a mother figure in his teens.

Classic

I agree with you but I want to note that this sounds pretty much like season 1 of Succession

I would beat his ass

• you're 100% right that it was the wrong context in which to bring it up. I felt bad after but in that moment I genuinely just ended up letting my emotions getting the best of me. I think the issue is that from my experience he is infamously quite sensitive, so we often have to walk on eggshells around him and fulfill his requests and asks otherwise he often starts getting upset and sometimes even hitting himself.
• also true. That's exactly how my dad is. He always feels it's his fault when his kids don't get along. It's how he felt after the incident too.
• Possible good idea. My brother actually already goes to therapy. He was doing CBT but then got put on antidepressants after swapping doctors from the one prescribing CBT. He left that doctor after they kind of overstepped in his eyes by saying that he isolates himself too much from family and friends. And for raising the potential issue that his social network is now entirely through his girlfriend. He said if they aren't together then hed become totally isolated and would have no support system.

Nah I very strongly dislike his gf but he's been like this for a long time, since he's like 12/13. It's not just her. This is his own thing.

I'd say go to group therapy or someone that can mediate all of this. It'll make it more solidified and serious. If everyone takes it serious and actually reflects and apologizes you might see some change. Y'all will also need to address each others hostile behaviors immediately

UPDATE: Unironically it's happened again at lunch. Except my sister had the meltdown this time. She got angry at my brother because in her words "he was staring daggers" and giving me the stink eye all day as well as making passive aggressive comments which admittedly I did peep. She tends to be both very fiery but also very defensive over people she loves so she ended up in an argument with my older brother

Song is hitting rn

"Tensions is definitely rising"

Oh so you on the angry vibe? I can get wit that

Emotional vibes to counteract your choice

Site sucks OP seems to be extremely genuine and gave a real situation that people deal with and people clowning. Keep your head up OP s*** happens sometimes you gotta speak up though to put thoughts out there and hope that your older brother gets the message. I’m sure he’s just expressing his emotions in a negative way and needs to work on that hopefully you can help him through that

Agree with this take also

Thanks. I am goofy but in all seriousness I like to think I keep it real and sincere. Hopefully people can see that. I'll have to discuss this with my dad and see what he wants to do. I'd have to make sure it's a black therapist though or at least someone who is trained in black issues since I do think awareness around the culture is important to solving this