ready to throw in the towel to be honest

you can try as hard as you want and still fail

Began smoking weed again last weekend and smoked everyday last week.

It felt so good, the trouble of my life faded into the background and a joy was felt.
But it went overboard and began smoking to much, eating to much, masterbating to much, chasing pleasure.

So this weekend I backed of it and I’m back to normal.
It’s kinda hard to return to the pain/sadness of living, that I had gotten a break from.
But if I run away chasing pleasure every time this feeling comes I will be lost, so I have to remember that it’s a fleeting feeling and not my whole life/ identity

Been struggling getting help for my continued suicidal ideation. My daughter, her mother, and my parents are what's stopping me. I can't continue to cause pain. There just has to be a light at the end of the tunnel. It'll get better at some point. I hope.

Check in on your friends, don't be oblivious, loved ones... family. I hope you all have a great remainder of your week

this tierra whack album got me emotional and s*** lol

Been experiencing anxious feelings and thoughts all day, and now it’s carrying into bed with me

trying to practice acceptance towards it. Just having some trouble doing that atm

feeling like this too bro, ive been listening to those new Carti drops and trying to swerve through it, Sheeyah! we got this!

Showin love Broski💜 dont give in!!!

keep it playa mayne

Happier i feel sadder i get the next day, whats up with that?

I am going numb.
Gotta take a break from my relief source.
Can’t make decisions
Treating water

Need someone in my life to talk to, but I even lie to my 3(!) shrinks.

Struggling again for almost a week tossing and turning for hours each night really throws me off my baseline

i hate myself

Thought I overcame my oversensitivity with how unfazed I've been by a lot of heavier, deeper s*** and trying to not take things personal but man. Unwarranted banter or being made fun of or whatever it is that seems to always happen to me still f***s with me it turns out.

I know it's not that deep and I shouldn't take the lightest s*** to heart but it's so hard to not dwell on it and feed into feeling bad about myself, how weird I am, how weird I talk, how I won't fit in or make sense online or offline. I stopped leaving comments on social media or posts on here for this reason, I'm insecure as s***

I wish I was normal

Don't think I will ever be able to turn my life around sadly

I hate having to explain why I drink diet soda, eat bland food, and always order a vodka soda to normies that don’t suffer from body image issues

It makes me want to break down and tell them a sob story about how being flabby has ruined my life and made me unworthy of love

I was doing so well lol, now I’m not even sad just increasingly angry and I don’t think I have the proper outlet for this

Before I knew it, I was spiraling 🌀