Lucky me, tossing and turning again. Gonna be a night of 0 sleep it seems like. Idek why. I had a good day and didn’t really have anything on my mind. Just was laying for awhile and started to get psyched out about how long it’s taking

Yuh i had this same exact thing for years my ocd thoughts would spiral when going to bed , ill get cozy and i struggled one bit trying to get to sleep i was awake all night.

Ur actually the first person iv seen who did do the same thing as me . Nice to know when we arent alone!

Yeah definitely nice to know! It’s the worst. Especially cause I have come to have obsessive thoughts over sleep, so it turns into a tough cycle of not sleeping because I’m anxious I won’t be able to sleep lol.

I wind up getting over it for a few weeks then randomly the thoughts happen again one night, and then I’m thrown off for a few days.

Its not my favorite thing ever, that’s for sure lol

Debating if I should strip all of my identity away and become a blank slate and build my personality from there

Had some good days and then today mental illness creeped up on me.. Like I know this feeling and where this is going…

Feel like I’m barely hanging on

Walking the tightrope

I can't tell if I feel weird cus of the d**** or if it's just naturally how I was gonna feel regardless of d*** use

i hate the fact im self harming again but those words cut me alot deeper than any blade could

Go to the gym bros please, I've finally been able to cut down from my 100mg dose of Sertraline to 50mg I know it sounds cliche as f*** but the gym really does help so much

Anyone depressed and feeling tired all the time?

I work an extremely demanding job but even on my days off I just want to chill. Idk what it is

for bipolar fam

are u enjoying anything outside of work?

Sometimes. It goes up and down.

Used to go out and see my friends and s***, as of recently I’ve picked up a spending addiction and been sick with flu/headache/burnout so just want to chill all the time.

I’ll play games for a couple hours a day but that’s it. My girl is also going through her own crisis so idk if that’s rubbing off on me but sometimes I just don’t feel like there’s any point in doing anything outside lol

It’s as if I’ve just lost interest in doing anything over time

It sounds like what most likely happened is the effects of ur illness persisted over time. Causing you to feel bad and sort of isolate, which then causes ur mood to go down, then you get stuck in a feedback loop where u stay home or just don't have as much fun, which causes ur mood to go lower, which then leads to more apathy and isolation

I think u just gotta find some way to get ur mojo back, maybe try going out more, or find new hobbies. Also if ur girl is going thru s*** that makes everything a lot worse, so maybe u just need time to get past this rough patch

Another sleepless night s*** is such a trigger for me man. And that only makes trying to fall asleep worse the next night

Yeah, good point. It’s tough though. I got a call with a mental health practitioner tomorrow as I was on self-led learning for dealing with anxiety, had a panic attack last week and one a few weeks before that so maybe I can try and push for someone to talk to. I obviously don’t want to be like ‘there is something wrong with me’ but sometimes it feels like there is lol

I'd see the doctor hopefully they can determine if u need medication or therapy. I can't rly guess which would help more, im bipolar so I tend towards medication but therapy can be rly helpful too, just getting advice on how to deal with stress and depression, cus medications especially for depression don't always work

I wanna f***ing die man