Nov 6, 2020@MZA Hey man happy early birthday bro. How old are you gonna be?
You don’t have to do this, your life isn’t over
What are you feeling now will soon subside and one day you will feel even better than this.
Please don’t go through with it.
We all make mistakes and none of us are perfect
We want you to continue to live so you can become the person you wanna really be
Outside of p*** and the military what is it that you wanna do? Any passions goals things you wish to accomplish? These things are not impossible even though they may feel like that. This is just temporary. Please brother rethink this.
Nov 6, 2020
Pusha POP you got paid to sling d*** bro. Count them blessings.
Every p**** experience I've had was a net loss to my bank in some form.
..
Nov 6, 2020it's not wrong to live for someone else while you're figuring things out for yourself. i know you care about your family as much as they do for you, so hold on for them for now. it doesn't matter how low things can go because there's the opportunity to find a way to live for yourself. that's what life's about, just figuring it out. just gotta keep going for the sake of it sometimes, because you'll hurt yourself and people you care about by doing something you'll regret. that hurt will last forever. but right now, there's a chance for change and i personally think you should keep trying little by little
- Nov 6, 2020
MZAbday is tomorrow so i think im gonna just do it then
i cant find anyone to get a gun from but im probably just going to call the police and charge at them with a knife until they shoot me or i could get a groupon at the shooting range and just shoot myself with one of the rentalsi used to feel broken before, but at least i had hope. ever since i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd everything has just felt so hopeless. i got dependent on therapy and medication, yet i still knew it wasn't actually fixing me, just temporarily keeping me docile. i was fine living like that but it just got too expensive and thats when i started using p*** to fund my medication, but i was also using the s***as an escape and it became so conflicting. i tried joining the military and got kicked out, i can't hold down a job, my only friend recently cut me off and called me evil with no explanation. i can never tell when someone is hurt by something i've done, i feel very oblivious and numbed to everything and at this point, i don't see the point in going on. my school is spam calling me to check into their wellness center because my teachers even realize that im mentally deteriorating and i've been holding it off for weeks because i don’t want to talk to anyone about how i feel, it's just a waste of time and im tired. i don't even feel like i'm living for myself at this point, i just don't want to hurt my family. the only reason i haven't done this sooner is because they really do care about me and love me, which i appreciate but honestly it just makes me feel more depressed because no amount of love or support has ever really made me feel better. i don't want them to think they weren't enough for me, i just could never be enough for myself. this probably all sounds really selfish and idk why im even venting here but my mind is already made up, i don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore
It posted my thing twice and when I deleted the duplicate it took off both, so I'll type it again as close as possible:
Why don't you visit the school wellness center? You have nothing to lose and people have taken an interest in your health. Your teachers have noticed, your school is calling, and you know that your family loves you. I think you should at least go to the wellness center and just see: out of curiosity.
Nov 6, 2020MZAbday is tomorrow so i think im gonna just do it then
i cant find anyone to get a gun from but im probably just going to call the police and charge at them with a knife until they shoot me or i could get a groupon at the shooting range and just shoot myself with one of the rentalsi used to feel broken before, but at least i had hope. ever since i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd everything has just felt so hopeless. i got dependent on therapy and medication, yet i still knew it wasn't actually fixing me, just temporarily keeping me docile. i was fine living like that but it just got too expensive and thats when i started using p*** to fund my medication, but i was also using the s***as an escape and it became so conflicting. i tried joining the military and got kicked out, i can't hold down a job, my only friend recently cut me off and called me evil with no explanation. i can never tell when someone is hurt by something i've done, i feel very oblivious and numbed to everything and at this point, i don't see the point in going on. my school is spam calling me to check into their wellness center because my teachers even realize that im mentally deteriorating and i've been holding it off for weeks because i don’t want to talk to anyone about how i feel, it's just a waste of time and im tired. i don't even feel like i'm living for myself at this point, i just don't want to hurt my family. the only reason i haven't done this sooner is because they really do care about me and love me, which i appreciate but honestly it just makes me feel more depressed because no amount of love or support has ever really made me feel better. i don't want them to think they weren't enough for me, i just could never be enough for myself. this probably all sounds really selfish and idk why im even venting here but my mind is already made up, i don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore
the fact that u posting on KTT is a sign that u still fighting,
Please stay with us fam... I know u don't know a lot of people IRL from KTT but we don't want to lose you. it still hurts just to find out that another person took their life way before their time.
You still got so much greatness ahead of you and everyone deserves to learn from what might be considered mistakes or failures.
idk much about how inpatient care works, i know some ktt members have been there and are recovering from some really bad times, ive wondered multiple times this year if i'll be able to hide how s***ty i feel to avoid it, and i've thought about ways that i could possibly end things too. but im not on that wave today
There's so much left you have to do, chase other dreams, meet new people that aren't bad energy, start a new life.
U aren't a bad person fam, no matter what u tell yourself, like literally compare with some of these people running around intentionally hurting people and making large amounts of ppl life worse on purpose. you're not that. you're just feeling pain.
I don't know u like that, but I don't want to lose you to the same enemy i been fighting. please stay alive
- OPNov 6, 2020·8 replies
last post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
- Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZA
last post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
please don't leave us fam
- Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZA
last post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
please talk to someone you know irl right now
- Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZA
last post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
You're not digging yourself in a hole though. You're going through the same thing that millions of other people, and many people on this forum go through. We all have people who believe in us more than we believe in ourselves.
We all need help with everything. Nobody does life by themselves.
Nessy 🦎Nov 6, 2020·1 replyMZAbday is tomorrow so i think im gonna just do it then
i cant find anyone to get a gun from but im probably just going to call the police and charge at them with a knife until they shoot me or i could get a groupon at the shooting range and just shoot myself with one of the rentalsi used to feel broken before, but at least i had hope. ever since i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd everything has just felt so hopeless. i got dependent on therapy and medication, yet i still knew it wasn't actually fixing me, just temporarily keeping me docile. i was fine living like that but it just got too expensive and thats when i started using p*** to fund my medication, but i was also using the s***as an escape and it became so conflicting. i tried joining the military and got kicked out, i can't hold down a job, my only friend recently cut me off and called me evil with no explanation. i can never tell when someone is hurt by something i've done, i feel very oblivious and numbed to everything and at this point, i don't see the point in going on. my school is spam calling me to check into their wellness center because my teachers even realize that im mentally deteriorating and i've been holding it off for weeks because i don’t want to talk to anyone about how i feel, it's just a waste of time and im tired. i don't even feel like i'm living for myself at this point, i just don't want to hurt my family. the only reason i haven't done this sooner is because they really do care about me and love me, which i appreciate but honestly it just makes me feel more depressed because no amount of love or support has ever really made me feel better. i don't want them to think they weren't enough for me, i just could never be enough for myself. this probably all sounds really selfish and idk why im even venting here but my mind is already made up, i don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore
did you tell your family how you feel?
- Nov 6, 2020·1 replyNessy
did you tell your family how you feel?
sometimes family makes u feel more guilt it might not be the best thing at the moment but i dont know, maybe itd be good
- Nessy 🦎Nov 6, 2020Sponge2ChanBob
sometimes family makes u feel more guilt it might not be the best thing at the moment but i dont know, maybe itd be good
if he has his mind made up already i dont think it would make things worse
Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZAlast post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
bro talk to us, we can be ur friends, more of us go through the same feelings more than u think. i have nobody to talk to irl either, but being on here and meeting people that i can talk to has helped me so much and given me more support than anybody i know in real life has. is there any family u can talk to? like ur mom or anyone? i wouldn't go to the school either or therapy but maybe try ur close family.ur not alone please don't do anything rash
Nov 6, 2020MZAbday is tomorrow so i think im gonna just do it then
i cant find anyone to get a gun from but im probably just going to call the police and charge at them with a knife until they shoot me or i could get a groupon at the shooting range and just shoot myself with one of the rentalsi used to feel broken before, but at least i had hope. ever since i got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and ptsd everything has just felt so hopeless. i got dependent on therapy and medication, yet i still knew it wasn't actually fixing me, just temporarily keeping me docile. i was fine living like that but it just got too expensive and thats when i started using p*** to fund my medication, but i was also using the s***as an escape and it became so conflicting. i tried joining the military and got kicked out, i can't hold down a job, my only friend recently cut me off and called me evil with no explanation. i can never tell when someone is hurt by something i've done, i feel very oblivious and numbed to everything and at this point, i don't see the point in going on. my school is spam calling me to check into their wellness center because my teachers even realize that im mentally deteriorating and i've been holding it off for weeks because i don’t want to talk to anyone about how i feel, it's just a waste of time and im tired. i don't even feel like i'm living for myself at this point, i just don't want to hurt my family. the only reason i haven't done this sooner is because they really do care about me and love me, which i appreciate but honestly it just makes me feel more depressed because no amount of love or support has ever really made me feel better. i don't want them to think they weren't enough for me, i just could never be enough for myself. this probably all sounds really selfish and idk why im even venting here but my mind is already made up, i don’t care what anyone thinks of me anymore
Sounds to me like you have a strong support system of people who love and care about you bro. You got people who see something in you that you don't, and it's those same people who will help you see that something in you.
The reason why you're venting here is because deep down you do want someone to listen, and you do wanna talk. That alone says a lot b. I can't stop you from doing what you feel you should do. All I can say is, really think it over man. You found light in your life. Who is to say you won't find it again? You still young. On top of that, don't give NYPD the satisfaction in killing another person who doesn't deserve it. F*** them. Your girl wouldn't want you going out like that, and I don't know you, but nobody ever deserves to go out like that.
My hope for you is that the decision you make allows you to see more birthdays in the future. My hope is that you have people who will be there for you to celebrate many more of your birthdays.
rvi ⚡Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZAlast post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
please please please stay with us man, i promise there is a way out from this and this can just be a temporary period of your life feeling like this. i understand that youre tired of trying to get help and having it fail with meds/therapists/etc, ive been there too. but please dont let it make you give up, its not your fault that they werent able to help you and of course theres absolutely nothing wrong at all with needing help, every single person in this world needs help like that sometimes. i promise that you can find peace without dying. please at least just hold off on it for a little bit and dont do it today. you might feel convinced that this is the answer now but you may be feeling very differently if you give it a little more time. ik my words dont mean much just a random person on the internet, i wish i could do more to help you
Nov 6, 2020·3 repliesif its a p***STAR should we know who this is for verification purposes
- Nov 6, 2020!https://youtu.be/g9hwjQBQFIoMZA
last post, if theres one thing ive learned its that this world is merciless and that's fine. we either fight until we die or we sit around until we die, the outcome is the same regardless. i've tried fighting for years but im tired of digging myself into a hole. i'm tired of hearing people saying they believe in me more than i've ever believed in myself. i don't want to be put on meds again, i don't want to rely on a therapist as my only friend again, i don't want to keep feeling like this. my school keeps spamming me trying to help me but i don’t want help, i hate that i even need "help" to begin with. this just feels like the only way out from all this, i hate how noisy everything is i just want to feel silence
ayo fam just hold on for a few more days don't do that thingidk there's calming meditative music and apps that play it so u can drown out the noise with those sounds and let the negative thoughts fight themselves and fizzle out...
- Nov 6, 2020·1 replyonetwo
if its a p***STAR should we know who this is for verification purposes
this is not the time lol
- Nov 6, 2020·1 replyonetwo
if its a p***STAR should we know who this is for verification purposes
...........
- Nov 6, 2020·2 repliesshane
...........
yall really believe that? lol
- Nov 6, 2020Sponge2ChanBob
this is not the time lol
fair enough lol
- Nov 6, 2020·1 replyonetwo
yall really believe that? lol
people on ktt already took their lives this year, so yes, i take it seriously.
- Nov 6, 2020onetwo
yall really believe that? lol
plus it's a vague term... could just mean a popular amateur one too, theres like a new categories of it now. Also, if op meant that she actually passed away and they were in love? its not the time to ask name to confirm
- Nov 6, 2020·1 replySponge2ChanBob
people on ktt already took their lives this year, so yes, i take it seriously.
i'm not so much debating his sucidal thoughts just the p***star thing
ppl be trolling just sayin
- Nov 6, 2020onetwo
i'm not so much debating his sucidal thoughts just the p***star thing
ppl be trolling just sayin
some of the parts of the post hit too close to home to be trolling imo
