I’m talking about a time you got absolutely wankered off of the devil’s liquid.

Me and a couple of well endowed mates went out to the local pub area for a night out. Of course we had a couple drinks before we left out in order to get loosened up. This particular pub was having a drunk spelling competition. Winner got some money or whatever.

I figured I’ll throw me hat into the ring and enter the competition. So in order to enter the competition each contestant had to take at least three shots before Round 1 starts and as the rounds progress it’s an additional shot so on so forth. I can remember a rather large and girthy fella chatting mad s*** so I was like ok I’m going to beat him

So me take the first round of shots and that’s actually the last thing I remember from that night. Me mates tell me I lost in the first round after misspelling the word “Fourth” and got mad at the judge, when the girthy contestant told me to take a walk. Apparently I gave him a hot smack on the bottom and told him to “keep your mouth shut and keep shaking that s***”

The what contestant?

He was fat

when I had full points on the alcohol test after I got stopped by the police after our folksfest

College - 1800 & Sprite. I didn’t even taste the alcohol s*** snuck up on me. I had to hear about all my embarrassing actions the next day. I woke up feeling like s*** on the couch of these two girls I met that night. Didn’t even f*** or anything they just let me sleep on their couch lmaooo.

Well endowed mates

They’re established. Like bankers and lawyers

knew this was gonna be that s*** in the firs sentence

Girthy

Was gonna share but the disgusting British accent in the OP pissed me off and now I won’t

Well you’re from Bangladesh so I don’t even know how to insult you back

Almost died

Like the equivalent of 11 beers? My friend’s dad kicked us out because we were being too loud and I almost cried when he yelled at us. A friend drove me home and that stars song “your ex lover is dead” was playing in his car and I felt it more deeply than any song I’ve ever felt.

I got home and lay down and just felt like I was floating. Then I woke up in a pile of my own vomit on the bathroom floor.

Never drinking steel reserve 211 again

in on a classic

1st time drinking alcohol

I was 12, my friend stole a bottle of white wine from his mom and a bottle of captain morgan

We took that s*** to the face. and i don’t remember anything until i woke up like 20 hours later
Apparently i puked all over myself and also s*** my pants, and my dad had to shower me i did so much f***ing damage to my brain over the course of my life lmfao

Never
F*** peer pressure

well endowed

girthy

Thread off to a sus start

How

The truth tends to come out when you're drunk. Sounds like you may also have some coming out to do

Ban