Maartins

4y

I remember during the thread for this people attacked me for saying tht we as a culture also gotta stop encouraging girls to not do this and people called me a victim blamer

Like obviously the dude is sick and socially we already collectively shun people who do this but yet it also still happens because frankly ALOT of 15-17 yr old girls ACTIVELY seek out older dudes

DAVIDP

4y

At 19 I was living in a college dorm getting trashed like almost everyday with my frat, being an idiot, and didn't care about anything or had personal responsibility.

At 21 I lived on my own, had a 9-5 the days I wasn't in class, was volunteering, and living in the middle of a city.

Huge clear differences

tomorrow volverse

4y

the guys are the ones abusing younger girls why would they admit to it?

blonded

4y

i don't know what you want me to tell you

responsibilities is anecdotal from our two experiences.
there are 14, 15, 16 year olds that have more responsibility than a lot of us have now - literally having to take care of their parents or other siblings on top of having to work part time and go to school

responsibility between and 18 and 21 year old are anecdotal enough that you can make an argument for it but there's no way it'll be enough to be a blanket statement

brain development? i mean if you're going to claim this i'm going to need some type of study or research that shows 21 year olds and 18 year olds are so far apart in brain development it would be immoral for them to have a relationship

Smacked Voodoo

4y

You know not everyone got it like that right?

Maartins

4y

We agree more than you think we do

But a 17 yr old isn’t some little kid incapable of reason also stop the infantilism

I was 17 two years ago

17 is old enough that a parent having a sit down talk with their daughter about the kind of person a man must be if he’s older and wants her isn’t something they wouldnt grasp

DAVIDP

4y

This is all anecdotal about what you said at the top. though, how true do you find this to even be? A 15 year old having to take care of whatever? I'm not saying this doesn't exist but this is an extremely large minority.

The brain fully matures at 24/25 (https://sites.duke.edu/apep/module-3-alcohol-cell-suicide-and-the-adolescent-brain/content-brain-maturation-is-complete-at-about-24-years-of-age/)

But by a non anecdotal standard be realistic, at 21 you are much closer to being a grown adult than child. At 18 you are closer to being a child than adult. I'm not saying it's "immoral", but I think that it is weird if someone who can legally drink, smoke is around and dating someone who is 18.
Once again, is it illegal? No. I can't argue with laws, but is it weird? Yes.

ImAUsernameLike

4y

oh you’re just 19

that’s why you don’t understand the age difference between a 21 year old and a 19 year old

if you’re on the younger side of this conversation, you don’t know enough to give an actual opinion bc you haven’t been any of the ages we’re talking about

NiceLikeChrist

4y

Realistically how much did you grow from 19 to 21. Idk why you saying there’s a vast difference in maturity

blonded

4y

that's the point

it's anecdotal

and if your barometer for it being weird is the legality of drinking and smoking, if drinking and smoking was legal at 18 would you have an issue then?

i really just don't see what you actually have as a stance other than "I was doing x y and z at 21 and it would have been weird for me to do this" and then extending that to everyone else

Maartins

4y

1) we don’t

2) who tf said demonize : im talking s***ed and parents having more active talks what lol

DAVIDP

4y

Did you even read the last of that paragraph? I just said I can't argue with the law.

But I personally think that it's weird. And I mean, yes have you ever heard of, "furnishing to minors"? That's a law too. Obviously I think it's a bullshit law but still...

DAVIDP

4y

This is what I'm trying to say.. Though I met my wife when I was 23 and she was 20. Wonder if that's looked at as bad lol

DAVIDP

4y

At 19 I was living in a college dorm getting trashed like almost everyday with my frat, being an idiot, and didn't care about anything or had personal responsibility.

At 21 I lived on my own, had a 9-5 the days I wasn't in class, was volunteering, and living in the middle of a city.

Huge clear differences

blonded

4y

I'm not asking you to argue with the law

You said, "I'm not saying it's 'immoral', but I think that it is weird if someone who can legally drink, smoke is around and dating someone who is 18."

So you are, to some degree, basing your perception of it being weird off of the legality of these things

So I'm asking you. Would you have this same stance if it was legal to drink and smoke at 18?

Do not weasel out of this

ImAUsernameLike

4y

23 and 20 isn’t bad imo. that’s like a junior in undergrad dating a grad student, and she could legally buy drinks within a year

it’s mainly weird when it’s people who can legally buy drinks dating people who won’t be able to do that for 2-3 more years

like how are y’all supposed to go to the bar together without “what if they don’t accept her fake” going thru the back of your mind for years

blonded

4y

i don't know what you want me to tell you

responsibilities is anecdotal from our two experiences.
there are 14, 15, 16 year olds that have more responsibility than a lot of us have now - literally having to take care of their parents or other siblings on top of having to work part time and go to school

responsibility between and 18 and 21 year old are anecdotal enough that you can make an argument for it but there's no way it'll be enough to be a blanket statement

brain development? i mean if you're going to claim this i'm going to need some type of study or research that shows 21 year olds and 18 year olds are so far apart in brain development it would be immoral for them to have a relationship

DAVIDP

4y

Honestly from my own viewpoint and experience, yes I do.

If you're of high school age hanging around with people who are well into college (and no don't come at me with that "well college people are 18-too. Most of them are nearing 19 when they hit college) I think that's a sign of being taken advantage of. Most people are goon a disagree with me on that, but I'm standing firm with it.

So many women complain about being in nasty horrible relationships when they were younger and most of the time it's because they were dating older men. (this doesn't just rely on the 21 year old point). They could be 18 dating a 26 year old or 18 dating a 30 year old. All I'm saying is that I think that it's weird.

Warren Peace

4y

you are speaking as if your own personal experiences apply to everyone when in reality, there are people of many different personalities in many different positions.

there are 18/19 year-olds busting their asses off working and getting through school, getting their own houses and apartments

and there are 20/21/22 year olds not doing s***, living with their parents and f***ing around doing the exact same s*** you just mentioned

people mature at different levels and ages. studies say women mature faster than men in most cases. I see no problem with an 18-19 year old being with a 20-23 year old, at least depending on the circumstances.

ImAUsernameLike

4y

brain development between 18 and 21 is a huge difference lol

ofc not as large as 14 and 17, but still large

blonded

4y

ok so again you're arguing based off of feeling and your anecdotal experience and honestly

i don't really care about that at all

DAVIDP

4y

If you don't care then why are you even replying?

I don't get what your argument even is.

blonded

4y

Okay but if you want to change someone's opinion you're going to need to provide like, sources, other than expecting someone to take you at your word