DRCH

5y

oh boy you did it not me

baby pluto

5y

no you just cant get girls 😹😹😹

Ethic

5y

They way you're describing this sounds like you're stuck in a loop. There are times when one has the feeling that he/she doesn't move forward, I've been there too.
Things like this are always difficult to discuss if we don't know you in person, especially over a written exchange.

The good side of it is I feel like you haven't reached Shenzhen Levels of depravity yet, you being able to clearly state your situation and actually point out problems (Like the house, your anxiety and that you're displaying to others that everythings fine, while you're not feeling like it inside) shows that you're able to reflect and that's great. There are people that are in way worse situations and are not able to do that, this speaks for yourself, you should aknowledge that, seriously. And don't be depressed because therapy didn't work, it's not for everyone, you yourself are your best therapist because you know yourself better than anyone else. Your strengths and your qualities that still need to be worked on.

Like @ROVO stated, appreciate the people and little things you have and that support you. It's those that will help you move forward. Sometimes when you think about everything negative that's coming at you at the same time it can feel quite overwhelming, try to get out of the hole step by step.
For example next thing you do when you wake up tomorrow and have time is clean your house, just do it. It will help you to get structured and you've accomplished something. Take it from there. But don't just say you'll do it, really do it. First thing in the morning. Even if it really annoys you, in the end it's better than feeling angry with yourself for procrastinating life.

The things you studied sound awesome, you have great tools available to express your creativity and tell stories to the world, (It'd liked to study this myself, but my skills lied elsewhere, used to try cutting videos when I was younger with PSE). Surely there are a lot of people that could be in need of your talents elsewhere, the world is bigger than just the area you're in right now and if only a puny driving license is holding you back, don't worry, I still haven't got one myself and I'm doing just fine (even if most of the people in my field are bound to need one, so I'll probably need to catch that up one day too lmao, just didn't need it up until now). Maybe if you're able to lift yourself you'll find the power to even be an enterpreneur and work as an independent director. Who knows, you're still young, you've got time.

There's also always the option to take some time off and move to another place for some months or another country. Do an exchange, see the world, learn a new language, there's more to see than the society which you feel pressured by and there are a lot of places in the world where you can live without much money. You could do something completely different than the things you've been working on until now, volunteer or heck, who knows even make a documentary abroad, I'm sure you could do it with your skills (Not saying this is the solution, I'm just trying to give you ideas).

Keep strong OP, don't let yourself get dragged down, no matter what anyone says, we're all valuable human beings, even if sometimes we're showing our worst sides, there's still a light inside which wants to shine.

On a sidenote (without judging):
Are you taking any medication or d**** that make you feel nauseous and are hindering you f.e. to clean up your house?

SELAH

5y

almost 3 years , tried different people

baby pluto

5y

lets report him for derailing the thread its actually valid

SELAH

5y

thank you so much ,

those kind of jobs aren't an option here ... they pay minimum wage in my country and people don't usually tip

sense

5y

im asexual

sense

5y

post a pic of your arm and see if people can guess what gender you are you ape

sense

5y

S dm's blowing up

rvi

5y

bro shut the f*** up go to random sxn if you wanna s*** post

Ooo

5y

Youre welcome. It’s suck I know, did you ever consider getting 2 for a little while just to save up? It won’t be easy but will be worth it. Minimum wage sucks, trust me I know. But you’ll find at least a few people there that are very genuine people and know what you’re going through due to circumstances in their life that may be different than yours but are similar. That could maybe help you feel better knowing you’re not alone with your problems.

One of my coworkers in coolest with is a felon. He’s not a bad guy at all just did what he had to do because someone was going around doing something there had no business doing. 13 years gone. He got aresturant job here now. Has a wife and 3 kids. You’d never know what he’s been they unless he told you. There’s always a chance at things to get better you just have to persevere and stay positive. Sorry for the long post I just really want you to know life isn’t over due to some setbacks

baby pluto

5y

lets report him for derailing the thread its actually valid

baby pluto

5y

imso sad now

Ellinia

5y

Take your trolling somewhere else this really isnt the thread to be doing this in.

SELAH

5y

don't be sorry for helping me , me talking to someone here really made me feel like im not alone right now and that's great

you're a beautiful person, thank you. I'm trying to fight and people like you are a huge reason for me to fight and see there's more in life and there's people that have good hearts and understand each other

Ellinia

5y

· edited

Therapy can really be a hit or miss depending on your therapist or type of therapy you're getting. From your post I see there's a lot of stuff going on in your life rn. But don't feel like you have to tackle them all at once. You already identified some issues yourself which is actually a good start. Improve your situation from there on gradually.

And I know it's difficult af to do, but you don't always have to smile if you're not doing ok cause you'll end up bottling everything up like rn. You got a girl right, if she cares for you she'll support you in times like this.

SELAH

5y

Thank you so much for this,

I'll try to clean my house, I put my alarm clock with that just now ( with 5 different alarm clocks to see if I have the strength to do that )

the only thing im taking is victam for my anxiety and I don't take it a lot of times

I only do d**** , Molly or x , a few times a year (3/4 max) and haven't done it in months tho

I can't smoke weed because it makes me more anxious

SELAH

5y

she is supporting me , we went two days just camping and to go and watch the sea , and I cried when I had to come back here and she just hugged me and told me she would never leave

SELAH

5y

she is supporting me , we went two days just camping and to go and watch the sea , and I cried when I had to come back here and she just hugged me and told me she would never leave