no, not yet.

I think i am legitimately a lunatic by this point.

Have you been diagnosed

my official diagnosis as a kid was pervasive developmental disorder.

DSM-IV specifically

parental separation, maternal abandonment, social difficulty and academic difficulty are noted in the psychology evaluation at that time.

I need to do a check up on Monday to do sessions and perhaps get a updated diagnosis

Go get diagnosed for sure on monday and get some meds.

do you experience delusions, hallucinations, etc?

hallucinations, no.

I don’t know about delusions exactly? Could you elaborate on what that would entail exactly?

Like believing you're right and nobody else is at all.

Well, I can't diagnose you, I can say that they might put you on anxiety meds like x**** or something for occasional use

welcome to the club.

god that’s so hard to know for sure if i am filled with delusions.

because i try to be as self critical of myself as possible, i check people on things that i believe are WRONG actions and it feels like i get gaslit and told otherwise

but like i go over and over in my head like okay is this me being deluded or am i actually right here? And there’s times where like i KNOW i am WRONG.

Like i KNOW i can’t be always right

This f***ing sucks

This sounds fine and dandy and I dont entirely disagree but a lot of people dont realize how hard it is to get diagnosed these days.

Over 2020 I was pretty sure I had BPD and Social Anxiety Disorder but never got diagnosed. I was also heavily dependent on weed and pens and got off it and felt less anxious about my mental health since.

If you self diagnose yourself you'll have a lot of mental issues and diseases lmao. Go see someone

I don’t do any substances on a regular basis, so i know it has nothing to do with any of that

I’m not trying to self diagnose just to be clear, it’s just speculation at this point

It’s really f***ing hard and people try to tell me that i make excuses when i tell them it’s taking time to go get that help.

It’s really f***ing annoying

does it impair your life or are you just checking boxes?

At first it was just this thing that hovered around, it affected me sure but it felt like i could manage my life somewhat…

Now it’s literally got me in a chokehold, i can’t let go of anything, i constantly feel this black cloud lingering in my head, i feel way more irritable then ever before, i don’t trust people, i don’t like myself at all, it has become a constant feeling of self torture.

I mood swing from bitter to angry to incredibly sad to numb to f***ing bawling.

I feel happy sometimes but even in those states of being, it hovers around me and it has felt like my happy state has been less and less impactful by the day.

Be careful this is a complicating path, it is good to figure out what's going on with you though

How old are you? late teens, early twenties are just a complicating time while you're trying to work out life

Reading this s*** and checking boxes can send you into an endless tail chasing experience

I am 28.
I just want it all to stop.

lame thread

Fair so you've got a decent idea what's up at that age

Go to the doctor tell them how you're feeling, only advice I can give

BPD is complicating, it isn't something you just treat, I mean you're saying it's a deep rooted personality defect

You'll be alright man, don't harp on it to yourself

How so?

just 4 pages of some dude goin "y'know when you think about it i'm kinda like the joker" or some weird bullshit idk i didn't read

If you don’t mind me asking, what medications did you take? That sounds a lot like me tbh