My therapist said she can't change my meds while I'm drinking and getting high, so I jus lied stopped taking my meds and kept getting f***ed up, jus got a new medication life is good

Post vacation blues and anxiety

I think I got this s*** figured out. It Feels like I was supposed to die years ago back in 2021 when I was deep in a Benadryl addiction (me and the plug fell off and idk how to find new ones so I just had to pop anything just so I could feel something) but it’s just been delayed. I’ve got the fear of it looming over me all the time

my anxiety getting worse for no reason

Its truly a b****

Sometimes I feel crippled with the fear of death to the point where going outside feels dangerous

I must conquer my fear of death

That’s the mission here

I think Ive developed a hate for humanity so strong that just seeing a human will throw me in a spiral of rage. I only went outside once but I was so surrounded by people that I just lost it and just yelled at 2 people for being in an elevator when I need a solo elevator

I wish I could isolate myself from everyone for the rest of my life. I hate interacting with people

I’m crashing out rn. F*** I haven’t felt this s*** in awhile. Christ all mighty

everytime things trend upwards for me, something happens and breaks me back down to zero.. it always hurts more each time too

someday we'll all be free... someday

thank got i made it outta here

It's been a little over a month since I last posted in here. For a while, things were looking up. I felt outgoing, started to talk to friends, went out, started to find a good co-parent relationship, and my dad had a surgery approved for his cancer.

These past two weeks have been one of the hardest mental relapses I've yet to face. It's like everything reset itself and I'm back at a really negative and low point. It's affecting my relationships with everyone. Parents, my daughters mom, and friends.

For the first time, I felt like my daughter could notice the pain on my face. The lack of energy in my tone. I couldn't help but feel like a terrible father. What if she realizes her dad is broken? I'm trying really hard for her and that moment tore me.

Check in on your loved ones, cherish them, and hold them close. If you have a loving family, value it. Wishing you all a better day, month, end to your year, etc. It's easier said than done but you all deserve to be happy and loved. Be kind to yourselves. Be kind to others. Much love.

i get it. i f***ing get it. for sure

on a downward spiral. mentally and physically. it will get better eventually right?

It’s NOT looking good

U cooked?

im GETTING cooked

Hang in there

bipolar depression hit different

ong i see why my therapist was tweaking. im deadass having them thoughts like damn life rly aint s***

hit 420 views

ig i gotta get high

oh wait im already high

suicidal thoughts are so weird, like it start as a joke, next thing u know u sitting there like damn am i rly bout that life or what

its always in the back of the mind, even when im happy, like yea that s*** follows u like a ghost

This was a HUGE mistake

Vraylar is a great med don't take it for granted