How do you do it? Like physically

So usually my sessions go with me just sitting still, eyes closed, and then after a little bit I start getting super tense, and I try and sit with it but it just gets worse and worse. More tension, I have tons more energy, and I end up not sleeping at night...every single time lol.

I sit down and listen to a guided meditation, but then I tense up and I can't untense certain parts of my body, and I've meditated for hours.

Yea man I’d say that’s the kind of feeling anyone should aim for with any kind of spiritual practice. Really nice. You should get back into it and see how much further you can chase that

Yeah I might have to try it in the morning, it just triggers stuff in me during the meditation. It's actually really weird.

I think maybe you should leave the guided meditation alone, and wind those hours back into minutes. I feel like sometimes we can feel an obligation to do it a certain way, by a certain time if we set these kinds of rules for ourselves, and that can definitely lead to stress and tension.

I remember I was going through the same thing when I was forcing myself to count my breaths. When I let go of that style and went back down to 15 mins per session, I felt so much better. Even most recently I would have very fractured sessions trying to just focus on one part of my body (my nose for the in breath, and belly for the out) but I went back to just following each breath as it happens, wherever I feel it in my body, and again, I felt a lot better. If you’ve been doing a similar stressful routine for 2 years I’d absolutely say switch it up.

There’s no rules to this

Any position is fine including lying down. All about the comfort man

I would switch it up, but isn't all meditation based on the breath and stuff? The only other one I have tried is the loving kindness one, but that one still requires me to pay attention to the breath.

I might also have to stop the guided to see if that helps.

id say your tensing up cause u get lost in the thoughts or the tension instead of becoming aware of it, observing it, and then letting it go, but thats just my own experience with tension as i meditate. so i dont really know. like sometimes i get super hungry but i dont judge it as im meditating, i just focus in on the hunger and how it feels, then it goes away without me even noticing until after, or if i get caught in a thought again, then back to the breath.

if you do it at night, id try doing it in the mornings, for maybe like 10 mins instead of hours, so you can get fully in tune with your breath and simply acknowledge the tension in your body as you focus on the breath without it getting too uncomfortable.

Yeah I might have to bring the time down a little bit, one key thing I usually feel when meditating, is my mind is paying attention to all of these sensations and feelings in my body, some even flare up. It kind of feels like I am watching my mind watch my body. It's actually really hard to find the breath without focusing on one particular way the breath is being used.

I think it’s less about the breath, and more about having an anchor to return to when your mind inevitably drifts off. The breath is just the easiest and probably the best one since breathing is always happening and is easily noticeable. There’s also the spiritual side of it seeing as breathing keeps us alive but that’s irrelevant in this case.

I say ditch the guided meditation for now because with that, while it can provide structure, it can also be a bit too restrictive after a while, especially if you have things, like tension, going on in your body, that you could and should let yourself feel and acknowledge in the moment, but this external stimuli is pulling you in a different direction. Same idea with focusing on the time spent.

There are people who just spend the entire session scanning their body, and feeling and focusing on every single sensation, including the breath, and I’ve heard that’s it eventually becomes very relaxing.

No doubt. I definitely don’t see anything wrong with psychs and I don’t think it’s cheating tbh.

Two separate important practices that can go hand in hand with each other and expand your perspective. Especially if you know what your doing and why you’re doing it.

i usually sit up against my bed

i agree with all this. guided meditation is cool but at the 2 year mark it kinda becomes hindering imo. at that point a person starts to have different more specific areas to focus on than what a guide is suggesting

your last point is kinda what i do to recenter myself if i get suupperr lost in thought and cant focus without help.

first i listen to the sounds around me, then body sensations, then back to breath. s*** feel like my entire body on a cloud. i think thats where the floating monk symbolism comes from

Honestly I'm not too sure, I actually only feel my head to my heart and maybe lower back during meditation. The rest I don't really have any sensations or anything. Yeah I'm not sure if that matters.

thought i was the only one that felt this

Yeah I do the whole thing, deep breaths at the beginning, scan the body (although it kind of feels like I'm watching each part), and then I just sit there until my mind drifts. I'm honestly not even sure if my mind drifts off.

Yeah, it's so scary. I mean I don't feel like anybody else, cause I know my anxiety usually holds me back in everyday life rn.