My mate (lets just call him John) started dating his GF (lets just call her Jill) over 2 years now and everything has been fine, i'm happy for the guy and love their relationship together. I get along with Jill and have expressed to her that I love them together. But recently, I have been feeling like John pours so much more of his effort and time into Jill to the detriment of his friends. It is pretty agreed upon by our friends and people that know John that he has built his entire life around this GF. He posts her constantly and spend every all his free time with her - which is completely fine although i am starting to feel like he has been neglecting his own friends. It feels like it's too difficult to make plans with him now because we all know his response (he will be spending time with Jill). I also think he doesn't even know his friendships are fading. He is blissfully in-love with Jill. We all love John but we can't help but feel the way we do.

Another thing to note is that John wasn't invited to one of our friends bday parties and was kinda butt hurt about it. Although this friend isn't part of our close circle, she is still someone we're friends with. From my perspective, I think John can't expect to invited to parities with friends he doesn't put any time into. Am I wrong for thinking this? John also spends so much more time with Jill's friends and will happily show up for plans with them and Jill but it feels like he treats his friends like they're a bit disposable? I don't think John can expect to be invited to something with someone if he hasn't put the effort in to nurture that friendship. Is this wrong?

now my question is, am i misplaced in feeling the way I do? John and I used to hang out pretty regularly and I love the guy but I can't remember the last time we spent time together. every time I see him it's always in the context of his GF. There are other couples in our friend group and they all seem to balance their romantic and platonic relationships. Do I bring this up to John or am I being too sensitive about this?

tldr: friend is spending so much time with gf his friendship are fading - do i tell him this?

tell him his girlfriend is cheating on him

Menace

OP tell your friend man

I’m so annoyed you called her Jill but not him Jack

Ruined the immersion

I thought about it half way through but couldn't be f***ed going back and changing it

This is life OP

She’s the one sucking and f***ing him

When he thinks about his future it’s likely growing with her, getting married, having kids all that especially a few years into the relationship

He’s not picturing y’all sitting around playing video games and drinking when he’s 35

Priorities, don’t take it personal

Imma be honest that's kinda normal. Some people can't prioritise when they get in a relationship. Best thing you can do is just leave him be and if he's hurt not getting invited just tell him he hasn't been around

NTA Your house your rules

Not reading all that but that’s literally a part of growing up. If it’s not a girl, it’s your work that consumes your life. Grow with it.

well that’s just how most relationships work, you have to put in work and sacrifice a lot of stuff you used to do with your homies, it’s sad from the OG group perspective but it’s okay from an individual perspective of John

why wasn't he invited to a birthday tho

like to my understanding he not doin anything wrong he just head over heels but yall treating him like he benedict

That's just the way it iiis

Things will never be the saaame

bro just tell him youre in love with him

damn he just like me (your friend)

people say this kind of thing is okay but whenever someone kills themselves, it’s always “check on your friends”

@op i’ve gone through this and it’s a tough situation. be wanting to say something but at the same time, i ain’t begging a mf to be a friend to me so i just roll with the punches. friendships go through phases, that’s why you can’t really rely on them

all ima say is not inviting him to a birthday is craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy

How old is everyone involved in this scenario?

the friend isn't part of our main friend group. she's more like part of an extended group but we all still very much know each other